Wherein Edith Goes for Her Fifth Abortion

We are tearing our eyes off the Beatles tribute to watch this show, so it better deliver. Okay, Lady Grantham demands that her husband go to America to perform a scene with Shirley McClaine, perhaps a reenactment of a scene from Steel Magnolias. Bates has refused to go as Mr. Grantham's valet (pronounced vall-et). Everyone now seems to know about Anna's rapist or as Lady Mary refers to him, "That ruffian." Mr. Barrow gets to go instead. I hope he hooks up with a sailor.

Maggie Smith will be taking ill this episode, but let's hope she doesn't keel over because she's signed up to do a movie with Russel Crowe, like Sybil did.

Some dudes are hanging around the house, I guess to court Lady Mary. Don't know who this chap is, though he looks a bit like the blond guy from Wings. Can't identify this other identical looking man either. They all wear tweed hats and have Aryan blue eyes.

Tom drives Lady Crawley home as he has to go to see the Pig Man. A lot is being made of this Pig Man; I can only hope there's a huge pay-off, such as a luau pig roast.

Edith must go up to London tomorrow to try to find her married lover and to have just a little bit of air let in (that's a reference to the Hemingway story, "Hills Like White Elephants." Look it up if you're interested in learning more about tight dialogue).  Edith tells her mother she's going to "have her hair done." Quite!

Rose wants to go London to see the black jazz musician, though she is pretending it's to be supportive of Edith.  

We see the dowager wheezing in bed. I have never seen her without a hat on. Mrs. Crawley takes charge and says she will have the maid fetch some tea and go get the doctor. In that order. The doctor arrives in a bow tie and says that it might be bronchitis or pneumonia. He prescribes inhalants to Mrs. Crawley, who has offered to be the volunteer nurse maid.

Old LG is calling out for others and may confess some family secrets. The doctor tells her she must stay awake all night to make sure her fever doesn't get any higher. What does one do to avoid this? Keep dousing her with cold water?

Lady Mary offers to help Anna catch the rapist. For some reason, Anna can't confess that she's worried that Mr. Bates will kill the guy who did it, which is why she keeps saying it's a stranger. Not that it matters, but I find Mr. Bates and Anna to be an implausible couple; he's much too old for her. Maybe that was the way in the olden days.

I also find Lady Grantham to be an intolerable actress. She says her lines in exactly the same simpering way each and every time.

Rose is out in a row boat with the black musician. He's American. He asks Rose what they are doing and what can come of it. She says they should just live in the moment and go to the club tonight. He kisses her in the same way The Bachelor's all kiss--with hands on the face.

Edith confesses to Rose's mother that she's going to have the procedure and Rose's mother says she will be supportive, but that she also thinks she should go ahead and have the bastard child. Edith says, "I am killing a wanted child of the man I'm in love with and you're asking me if I've thought about it." She asks Edith how she found the place and Lady Edith says it was an advert she say in the magazine for Ye Olde Planned Parenthood.

The pigs have arrived and are dying from having no water. Damn that pig man! Lady Mary pitches in and grabs a bucket. It's an emergency.  Dan just said, "Are you sloppin' the pigs in your flapper dress?" He forced me to add that. Does this mean that Lady Mary will be falling in love with this other guy and not Tom, who is off at a socialist meeting and just had some flirtation with a plain looking lady in an unfeathered hat (to show that she's serious about politics). Lady Mary is covered in pig shit and she never looked more beautiful. The guy she's with is starting a fight with the pig shit by rubbing it on her face. How romantic. She then makes him an egg. Perhaps they will begin throwing eggs at each other now and who knows where that will lead?? Lady Mary says, "You completely saved our bacon. Literally." Where they using that word even then? How I hate it.

Edith is at the clinic. She doesn't want to have the abortion, but she doesn't see any other way. They have absolutely no lights in this place, because it's a back alley clinic. Edith says she doesn't think she can ever go to the nursery again. Here is where she sees a woman crying and decides not to go through with it and will instead have a convenient miscarriage, because that's what happens in these shows.

Uh-oh, I think Anna's rapist is coming back for a visit. Like ten guys are hanging out in the living room having tea with Lady Mary.

Alfred returns and Ivy is liking him more and more, which pisses off Daisy. Daisy will definitely kill her with a carving knife. Why are they acting so weird? I guess because the two girls now like him. Ivy has changed her tune because that other footman (the other gay one--the blond) has treated her badly.

Good, it looks as though the Dowager will recover. She doesn't quite remember Mrs. Crawley nursing her and the doctor sets her straight. The Dowager must act grateful, even though she doesn't like her all that much.

Oh, dear, yes, the rapist, Mr. Gillian has returned and Anna has just seen him. She tries to act normal, but stops in her tracks. How long before Mr. Bates catches on? Thirty-five seconds. The older lady confronts the rapist who is cleaning his shoe.  In a weird way, he looks like a more attractive Mr. Bates--a younger version. He doesn't take her advice and instead makes jokes at dinner; "Bates just locked on like a pit bull," Dan said. Yes, I think he is right.