But Call Me Betsy

Did you ever do that thing where you decide to just check in on your old crushes on Facebook? Because aren't we all friends with these guys who ripped out our hearts and stomped on them in college and high school? And don't we even sometimes "like" their stupid family photos or the baby photos and wonder if we should leave a pithy comment that might make him realize that we're the ones who got away? I never do that. Hardly ever. But the other day, while we were watching the Beatles tribute show, I did a quick search for a guy I had such a crush on in high school, Rob D. I found his page, and he's still married to the girl he dated just out of high school and they have three gangly children  and she's still very beautiful and thin. I was getting all nostalgic for those days and wondering why we never ended up together, (the Beatles were playing "Yesterday" in the background, so I had the perfect medley going) and then I clicked on a link to a ...

I have a temperamental relationship with my i-pod. Half the time, it doesn't work. It's acted funky ever since it got wet and so it sometimes doesn't shut off and then runs out of steam in the middle of an important walk, leaving my soundtrackless. I was thinking the other day how so many of the bands or songs that I have on it can be attributed specifically to certain guys I dated for either a short or long period of time: Lemonheads, Toad the Wet Sprocket: The Bartender with the Concave Chest. We went out a few times but he was too young for me and had super skinny legs. REM (Monster c.d. only), Cracker's "Low": The Other Bartender with the Drinking Problem. Flaming Lips: Not Over His Wife Yet. I said, I love you. He said, Oh, I think of you fondly! That was the end of that. Aimee Mann's "That's Just What You Are," Cheap Trick's "I Want You to Want Me": The Poet Who Made Me Numerous Mixes. But who was also too young for me and...

Jodie has this really cute t-shirt with a girl on a motorcycle and it reads "My Other Ride is Your Boyfriend." I want one of those (she also has a t-shirt that Padhraig gave her that says "Fuck Yoga"). I don't currently own any t-shirts with sayings on them, except for the one that Dave had made for me one year that has "help me" on it. Okay, so I confess that I watched Age of A-holes again last night. I honestly had to look away from the TV on more than one occasion. I couldn't bear to watch the women's plastic faces as they applied yet another layer of foundation before going out on a group date to the beach with the guy of indeterminate pedigree (actually, I believe he's Italian-Australian). I am starting to feel sorry for him. He does have cute dimples and he is always opening his eyes widely, shocked by the different ways that the women have of making idiots of themselves. Here's something else I don't understand: what's t...

Because of the rain, I rediscovered my orange rubber Steven Madden loafers and they are much cuter than they sound. Plus, they make really awesome squeaky noise when you walk. Sometimes, I pull together an outfit that sort of accidentally works but then I usually forget it. I need a Polariod. Small note about cat, promise not to go into any detail: This morning, Ernesto discovered my blush brush. He grabbed it out of the make up bag, jumped down on the floor, and then laid on top of it as if trying to hide the brush. I retrieved it. He did this three more times until I had to hide the thing. I told you he is gay. Molly went with me to pilates last night and did very well. The instructor is this girl who has the slender body of a willow tree and she has long blond hair and a pretty face. She's about 22 or maybe younger. She announced in class yesterday that she's getting married this summer to her fiance, who has been in class before. He is a tall, broad shouldered boy, also blo...