But Call Me Betsy

To do: 1. Pick up clothes dropped off this morning at the laundromat where the Asian man missing three fingers on his right hand always smiles and says he can have my clothes ready in a snap. It is criminally cheap to take your laundry in to this place rather than spending the two hours doing it yourself. Today's batch (about 2 loads) cost $15. I am living the life of luxury. 2. Return cable box to Comcast. I decided that even though I am a woman of a certain age who has her clothes "done," I do not need to pay $60 plus dollars a month to watch only mildly entertaining episodes of Real Housewives of Some Obnoxious County . I will miss Clean House, though. It's a very satisfying show to watch because they make everything pretty again. However, isn't there a way now for me to hook my laptop onto my TV and thereby watch stuff on the screen? Or did I dream that? Also, since I now have Netflix, I can also download their "watch instantly" crap, though it doe

As I've mentioned before, since we're not really approaching any kind of huge national holiday,the windows in South Philly have remained static. I don't think anyone will be putting up huge sunbursts for June 21st's summer solstice, but I do think we can expect 'merican and Confederate flags, red, white, and blue streamers, and Uncle Sam's to start bursting through the window panes as soon as June 1 hits. In the meantime, you can count on windows to display art. For instance, here we have a Greek theme (I think?): Philosopher preparing to swan dive off the high jumping board, buff man in loincloth, elaborate feathered headdress, and boots, and the Parthenon equals what? Look, our first American flag (I think it's up year round), alongside porcelain dolls, flowers, and a granny encased in a glass tube. This is cute. This reminds me of Jodie for some reason. Maybe because she's always going on and on about Easter peeps. Showgirl-leg based, fringed lamp acc

Now I will never stop posting videos. This is one from Cute Overload. I couldn't stop lauging while watching it. It makes me worried. Have I lost all sense of normacly if I like cat videos? Most likely.

Here is one from the onion.com called" Online Dating Helping Pathetic Women Get Their Hopes Crushed More Efficiently." Online Dating Helping Pathetic Women Get Their Hopes Crushed More Efficiently

I don't know what's happening in this photo below. Somehow, the Virgin Mary has ended up hanging out with two turkeys dressed in people clothes. It may be one of the seven biblical signs that the end of the world is rapidly approaching. Curious dog in the doorway. He seemed kind of okay, but then when I took his picture, he started barking and carrying on. I like this picture because it makes me think that the cat is coming out from behind a curtain, somewhat like a magician. Like he should be saying, Ta-da! Little doggie on the back of the sofa. This is an iron horse next to a pond in Newtown, PA, the place way down yonder off of I-95 that I bravely traveled to this weekend. A close up of the horse's imprisoned gold heart. Nature was also observed in Newtown, specifically, geese and their waddling ducklings. Of all varying sizes and ages. This picture reminds me of the cover of the children's book, Madeline, when all of the orphans are made to get in two straight lines

Okay, people, I know I have fallen down already on the job of reporting on the new season of The Bachelorette , especially since I completely and utterly missed the season premiere. And now, we're already nine minutes into the second episode. I watched the first little bit and thought, Naw, I don't need to write about this, but then I quickly realized how frickin' awesome Bachelorette episodes are because of one simple fact: the dudes have no clue how to vie for the attention of one woman. When it's reversed, the women are totally comfortably trying to capture the heart of a single man, but get a bunch of guys together, and they are at a total loss. All they can really do is high five. Again and again. And again. The scene just witnessed involved Jillian playing basketball with all of them (completely shirtless) and of course, there was a big surprise!!! She brought out the Harlem Globetrotters. Duuuuuuuuuudddee! The guys (all white--the network has totally decided agai

Not to be confused with The Long Winter , by Laura Ingalls Wilder. I don't really have plans for this weekend, other than reading. I went to the library with my new BFF, Lisbeth, after work yesterday and checked out 6 books, including a S. King collection of short stories called Just After Sunset. I can't help it, I love Stephen King. I also got The Quiet Girl by Peter Hoeg, a Charles Baxter book, uh...Joyce Carol Oates book about writing called The Faith of a Writer , Tim O'Brien's July, July , and another JCO book, though this is a novel called Middle Age: A Romance . I talked to this guy last weekend who has met Joyce on a couple of occasions (she teaches at Princeton) and he said that she's very nice and wears big glasses. Just as I suspected. I'm off to meet LM for a long walk to Macy's where I will hopefully resist from purchasing too many more things that I don't need.

Ah...Summer in Philadelphia. Sort of. Yesterday, it was rainy and then cold and then hot. Today, it's been overcast and cool, but will possibly change into sunniness before you know it. Anyway, I have been trying to capture some of the natural beauty of S. Philadelphia (avoiding the places where you have to step over dirty diapers on the street, beer cans, hair weaves, sneakers, homeless people, etc.). I wish this first picture had turned out better. When I saw this plant? shrub? I thought that it must be made of plastic. It's not though. 5 dollars of Monopoly $ for anyone who can tell me the name of this botanical wonder. Oh, okay, let's not forget that it's still baseball season (I just had to ask my co-worker if it is, in fact, still baseball season. My mother would be very disappointed in me for not knowing that). Here we have a line of fuzzy bears and dogs dressed in Phillies gear. More random prettiness along the street. I like how this cat seems to just be leanin

It's amazing how chatty people in this city can be to virtual. In the last two days, I've had maybe four short conversations with people I never met before, including one (minor) fight that's been rankling me ever since it happened yesterday morning. I was walking down the sidewalk, looking at my i-pod to figure out how to listen to a podcast when I heard a woman going, Hello...Hello! I looked up and saw this lady on a bike with a child trying to get my attention because she was riding on the sidewalk and didn't want me to run into her. The same exact thing happened the day before with her at around the same spot, with her telling me to essentially move out of the way. I usually don't talk back to people, but I said, You're supposed to be riding on the street though. She said, I have a kid. All of this was said in passing, but it irritated me to no end for most of the rest of my walk to the subway, you know, as I was trying out sassy responses to her statement,

Anyone who has known me for, oh, three minutes, will understand that I like animals. I will cross the street to pet a dog. I've only been bitten once, and that was recently (no bloodshed). I have also been peed on by a dog. Still, I forge bravely ahead. I'm considering opening a dog walking business on the weekends just so I can be around them. But I mean, I also like cats and horses and birds and meerkats, etc. Below, please find photo proving that cats do yoga. Here are some goldfish in an outdoor pond on 10th Street. Sometimes, you will also see a parrot in front of the house, but only on very warm days. This is a sad old dog wearing a pink collar. I just recently starting seeing her and petting her. I tried to feed her a piece of raisin bread but she wouldn't eat it. She wags her tail when I pet her but otherwise doesn't seem too excited about anything. Siamese cat. She's a regular. I see her sometimes on my way to work. Can you tell that this dog likes and reco

OMG, you guys, I will be turning 40 this weekend. How did that happen? I am dreading it, as though I will be an entirely different person in three days. But I will, right? I will no longer be in the 30s demographic. And I've realized that I haven't really been taking care of myself for like 20 years. I still don't know how to cook (I take vitamins to compensate), and I don't really own anything, except for my car. I still rent my home. Have never had a baby. Am not married. Do not know anything about the stock market. Can speak Spanish at a third grade level. Can quote Annie Hall i n its entirety. That's it. That's all I've accomplished in 40 years. That's pretty bad. Um...what else can I do? I am excellent at walking on my toes. Animals love me. Uh...Well, I'm still curious about a lot of things, so I guess that means I'm not brain dead. I want to travel more. I'd like to fall in love. I still believe that maybe I could still have a baby o

Because we are between holidays, the windows in South Philadelphia have not been as exciting lately. Instead, I've taken to photographing the various animals that sit in windows. You can always find a cat or two and, if you're lucky, you will be able to spot a dog. But first, here is a calico kitty I saw earlier this morning. It reminded me that I recently had a dream about Gretel, gone now for over two years. In my dream, she was alive and relatively healthy and though I knew in real life she was dead, I thought, Oh, how nice! She's come back to me in a dream and I get to hold her again. She liked to sit in the windows too. Cats will respond to you if you stand staring at them from outside their house.This one noticed me noticing him and seemed to be trying to open the window to let me on in. Picturesque cat in the window who is gazing at the sky. Smooshed faced fatty head. I think this might be in a cafe window. And here you have a different view of the same lazy posture.

My very own mother recently visited me in Philadelphia. Her visit was cut short, but we did manage to (1). have a home-made mom dinner, (2). participate in "take your mom to work" day, (3). consume two bottles of wine (4). introduce her to this boy, (5). force her to accompany me to a doctor's appointment, (6). and (7). crack each other up writing a thank you note to DF while watching Emma . Anyway, here are some photos from mom's visit. For mom, and for you, admirers of Donna. First, a photo of her making mashed potatoes. And brandishing a knife while also showing her team spirit to the Devil Rays. Here we are looking coy. Then, just for your viewing pleasure, here is the stray (and now fixed) mama kitty in her new home. Which this photo startled her out of. Notice the X-ray vision eyes. Ernesto, unfazed by anything except for the sound of the door opening, which signals that it is time to try to escape. Emma Carol in all her fabulous fatness. And here is where Hen

It has been raining for the last seven or so days and yet I continue to forget to bring my umbrella. Kelly and I went to Ann Taylor after lunch today because they were having a dress sale: all dresses $39.50. Kelly got a buttercup eyelet dress that I really like, but I don't think I look good in l-ellow, as toddlers say.We both bought two dresses. Is that greedy? I am not even sure if they will fit, as we didn't feel like trying them on either. Such is the life of a consumer. I got irritated yesterday because some guy was whistling on his way into the subway. He wasn't a bad whistler, but I thought, Why do we have to listen to you whistle? Luckily, he didn't sit on my side of the track, but I could still hear him and I wondered if the people he was near were irritated too or if they thought, "Hey, how nice! I love 'Tiptoe Through the Tulips!'"I don't feel bad about not liking that, because I have a couple of friends who have similar issues with u