But Call Me Betsy

In case you don't know what an infograph is, it's a way to visually represent stats in a way that is more palatable and interesting than just strict information. I of course did a Google search about how to make them and there are programs that allow you to DIY, but I don't have the patience to learn them. Instead, I'll do the poor man's version, as I've been thinking a lot lately about important life events. Here are mine, in a nutshell, as the kids like to say these days:  22 moves        5 states lived in   4 serious boyfriends     7 university jobs     5 people close to me who have died     5 pets owned, two dead   1 broken bone     45 birthdays 0 known STDs

I know I've written about the list problem that exists online now, but it still bugs me. BuzzFeed and related faux news sites have created this love of lists that goes beyond the "10 Things That Will Drive Your Man Wild in Bed" type articles that Cosmo has had on every magazine cover since they launched. Now, you can get these short snippets of life saving-ish advice via numerous shared links on Facebook, and the titles are usually a tempting promise to make a real difference or tell you something you must know---  "15 Short Cuts to Saving Money while Losing Weight," or "How to Sleep Better to Improve Your Brain Power" or else their just weird and possibly topics you could try to work into any dead conversation to liven it up like, "What Abraham Lincoln Kept in his Beard." But then you click on the link and the lists are cliche ridden and not startling or interesting at all. The title will be like, "How to Be Happier Every Day," ...

Another snow day and too much time on Facebook, clicking on links to articles with titles like, "The Top Ten Things Happy People Do" or "The Smartest Way to Communicate in Your Relationship to Prevent Breaking Up," or "How George Clooney Stays Fit without Working Out" or here's the latest one,"25 Things Little Girls Wish Their Daddies Knew" (I couldn't possibly care less), but it's tempting to click on the link, just in case...just in case it changes my life. And yet I can't really think of any one article I've read like this that has impacted me in any significant way. Possibly that's because I don't spend very much time actually reading the article--I skim it to see if will stick, and then click on the link to the side that reads "Faces Ruined by Drugs." I have no attention span at all--and I don't want to be one of those curmudgeonly people who blames the web and technology or Facebook or the Huffingto...

There's a meme going around via email and Facebook that asks you to list 25 random things about yourself so that your friends may learn things like that you love yellow M&M's best or that you were beaten severely as a child and still wet the bed. I don't know why I'm so resistant to doing this...Maybe because it seems so self-indulgent somehow. Not that I ever really participate in any of the Facebook friend applications like virtually throwing mac and cheese at your friends or buying someone a pretend drink--I don't get it. Anyway, last night, I was having a little trouble falling asleep b/c at midnight, one of my neighbors decided to shovel his sidewalk for 25 minutes and a bunch of other people were frolicking in the streets and laughing and making snow men, so I started making up my list of "25 Random Untrue Things About Me That You Never Knew." 1. I have a baboon heart. 2. When I was a baby, we lived on a sheep farm and my mother fed me only on sh...

I just finished writing on the last page of the journal Jodie gave me for Christmas and so was flipping through to see if there was anything brilliant which I should type up before retiring the journal to my bookshelf. Typically, once the journal has ended, I have a difficult time ever opening it again b/c there is something slightly depressing about looking back in time, knowing in some ways how it will turn out and feeling bad for my former self for not realizing the finale. At the same time, I often write fiction or story ideas and then, if I don't put them down somewhere else, they can evaporate into the nothingness that is my memory. Anyway, I stumbled on a list I made on January 14 of this year; a list of 100 things I want in my ideal partner. I believe when I decided to make this list, I'd read some stupid article in Oprah or one of those magazines proclaiming that you can't always get what you want UNLESS you know exactly what it is you're looking for. This ide...