5 Things I Hate at the Gym, followed by 5 Things I Like

Here's a first sentence I like for a short story:"Somewhere along the line, she had gotten fat." That's how I feel in real life. Like, one day, I was wearing a size 7 jeans, and now I'm a cow. Not really. But not skinny. My friend Lisbeth and I always say to each other, "You're not that fat..."  I don't feel fat--most of the time I feel good and walk around thinking I'm pretty cute, but then I'll see a picture of myself on a day that I thought I looked good and I'll be taken aback; like, hey, wait, why do my arms look like hamhocks. Example:

This is not really my arm
(By the way, if you Google the term "fat women" in an image search, you will be appalled by what comes up. Not necessarily by the size of the women, but more by the way they're treated, talked about, regarded, made fun of. It's not nice--there's one photo of a little guy riding on the back of a large woman as if she's a horse. Also, would you like your picture to show up on a site called "Fat and Ugly?" Meanwhile, I'm sort of a hypocrite b/c I don't want to become obese either).

In effort to not be listed on any anti-fat websites, I've been going to the gym in the mornings or walking to and from work, at least part of the way. I also ate 7 gummy worms today, but that's another story. You'd be surprised how many people are at the gym at 6:30 AM. A lot! Here are 5 things people do on the machines that makes me a little crazy.

1. Leave the TV on rather than turning it off. Often, I prissily go around to absent machines and turn the TV off. It's a waste of energy.

2. Don't clean the machine after sweating all over it. There's one guy who I see a lot who just hops off the machine and goes each time. I also see him on the subway occasionally and have considered bringing it up.

3. Continue to use a machine that's making a lot of noise. Or, really, to be more all-encompassing, I don't like it when people make any unnecessary noises on a machine--if you're huffing and puffing and coughing, you're working out too hard or you're too sick to be at the gym, so stop. Sometimes, people laugh on the machines b/c of something they're watching on TV. I would add this to my list, except I lol-ed just this week b/c Drop Dead Gorgeous was on.

4. Expel serious odor of any kind. This could be BO or it could be gas. I can get behind one slip up, but if you've just eaten a bean burrito, give yourself some time before exposing the rest of us to your gastro intestinal challenges. 

5. Talk or text on their cell phones. The rule with cell phones, I think, is that you shouldn't be talking on it in any place where you have a captive audience. That would include public transportation, by the way. 

5 things I like:

1. Watching the home improvement channel--makes time go by much faster.

2. The temperature is always just right in the gym.

3. Their bathrooms have full doors for privacy.

4. The magazines are only 1-2 years old.

5. No huge overhead TVs to distract you.

That said, I'm walking home today instead of going to the gym. But I will go in the morning. I like to get it over with.

This is my actual arm

And this is my actual face, looking as though I'm scolding a small child.