Confessions From an Underwear-a-holic

I just saw a preview for this new movie (based on a book) called Confessions of a Shop-a-holic (not to be confused with Steve Martin's book, Shopgirl, also made into a movie starring Claire Danes); this particular film looks pretty bad--lots of slapstick like girl walking into windows, girl sliding across a floor filled with marbles, girl accidentally giving a blow job to a cop. And I don't really relate to the whole Prada, Gucci, Milana Blanhik (sp?) thing, but I do have an underwear shopping problem. I probably own maybe 50 pair of panties at the moment and yet I bought 4 more at the Gap the other day and then another 3 pair today at Urban Outfitters. But they were on sale, people: $1.99 each. I think it's also based out of the fear that I'll run out--this is after how many years on not having access to a washer/dryer---I now have this need to squirrel away lots and lots and lots so if I ever need to go for like 15 months without laundry, I'd still be okay.
Speaking of underwear, I had my own slapstick moment on Monday night when my landlady showed up for the money order. I wasn't expecting her (she was supposed to get it on Saturday) and so I did what I usually do the second I walk in the door which is to take off all of my work clothes as I'm walking up the stairs to my bedroom so that I can immediately be in a tank top and pj bottoms. So, I was not yet changed and not at all dressed and the doorbell rang. I knew if I didn't get downstairs quick, it would be even worse because the landlady has a key and would unlock the door and walk in. I ran downstairs and grabbed this raincoat, yelling, JUST A MINUTE! but she kept ringing the bell. Then I heard her open the screen door and raced to button up the coat and get to the door before she unlocked it. I made it and was able to hand her the $ order, but I'm sure she was like, Why is this woman walking around her house in a raincoat at 7 p.m. on a hot day? I said bye-bye and shut and locked the door. That's when I noticed that the bottom button of the coat had popped open so chances are good that my landlady has now seen my nonny. Maybe she'll feel sorry for me and knock a little off next month's rent.

Poor girl can't even afford underwear! she'll think.


Anonymous said…
Maybe you should go "fancy free" one day and see if it will cure your need to hoard panties.

The first girl I ever dated went "fancy free" ALL THE TIME!!! No underwear issues for that girl.
Aimee said…
I'd have a veneral disease in no time.