Naked Jesus

Liz's comment on my last post reminded me of something I saw this morning.

Shirtless men: 1. Please keep in mind that this was during a very short period of time--the ten minutes it takes me to walk from my apartment to the subway. This guy was not jogging. He was carrying a large piece of wood across his shoulders. No shirt, jogging pants, a hat, and a beard circa Jesus in his late twenties. And the way he carried the piece of wood was uncannily reminiscent of Jesus on the way to the crucifixion. Only nonJesus thing about him was that he had visible hair on his back--enough that it was noticeable from say...3 blocks?

Okay, and while we're on the topic, I will confess to watching 3 straight hours of the Style Network; three shows I've never heard of before. I was also doing crafts, but still, that's a lot of television for one evening. But it was hypnotic. First, I watched How Do I Look?, hosted by that
British lady who used to be on General Hospital. For the first half of the show, she was the nice character and then the second half of the show, she got amnesia and her evil twin took over. The show is pretty canned--but it's about some poor slob whose friends can't stand the way she dresses anymore and they nominate her to be saved. The woman last night wore fake braids with flowers in them and seventeen layers of clothing, plus three bags and six scarves. And braces. Blah, blah, blah. They dressed her a little better, I guess. She got a years worth of free contacts. I'm sure that she's already back in scarves and mothy cardigans over t-shirts over blouses over tank tops over a bustier, over yet another tank. With leggings and tights. And socks. Stuffed into boots. With spurs.

The next show was Clean House. It's just what it sounds like--a messy house that gets reorganized by a comedian and a couple of other people. It wasn't boring though, I swear. The most interesting thing was that the wife/mom was a total basket case. She couldn't stop crying. I could kind of understand. She had a husband who vacuumed the kitchen floor a few times a day. To rebel, she let the upstairs pile up with crap. They had a yard sale and made less than a thousand dollars.

Lastly, we have Split Ends which features a high end stylist (in this case, the prima dona who owns Berdorf Goodman) and a low end stylist (a woman whose salon is in the back of her house and which also contains goats. They don't cut hair).

And right now we have Age of Love, which just had the most unheard of ending--one woman actually DROPPED OUT! Are you kidding me??? Doesn't she know the rules of fleeting fame? It doesn't matter if you like the guy or not. You could think he sucks, but if you drop out, you lose air time! She did it anyway. I was very proud of her, even though she milked it probably three shows past when she needed to. Then, the cute 21 year old airhead could not get onto the plane to fly to Australia to meet Joe's family (or whatever his name is). She had a serious panic attack and nearly threw up. So, she had to leave. Next week: will he choose the 48 year old or the 25 year old? Seems like it'll be the younger girl, but it also occurred to me that maybe, just maybe there will be a twist...Like, he'll say he doesn't want either one and would rather try to see what it's like with the 21 year old. Or maybe, he'll confess that he's really a woman (that did actually happen on one reality show in another country. I'm serious. These guys dated who they thought was a woman, only to discover at the end that she was a pre-op he. That's television!).

Omigod, look. Even the guy from this reality show doesn't realize that he should be wearing a shirt.