Happy 4th of July

I am having an extremely difficult time getting motivated today. Stayed up too late last night watching back-to-back episodes of Bravo's Kathy Griffin show. I had no idea she was so funny or that she swore so much in her stand up. She has had too much plastic surgery, but I like her a lot and think we would be fast friends. I have the next two days off from work and am hoping to work on a short story for the four week class that starts next Tuesday. I have a piece I found the other day about some cowboy named Colby. I have no idea where the idea came from or when I wrote it, but it's not horrible. I also need to work on the organ donation story. With like 14 more drafts, it could be readable.

Per a recommendation from Health magazine, I signed up for this thing called sparkpeople.com--it's an online health and fitness page that helps you track what you eat, how often you exercise, how much water you drink, etc. They have an extremely user friendly system. They even provide you with a grocery list. It's a perfect system for me, especially since it has a built in reward mechanism that consists of gathering points each time you do something healthy (exercise, read an article or watch a video about better health, check message boards). For each 100 points you build or whatever, you get another kind of trophy. It's ridiculous, but I am highly motivated by this kind of thing. The down side is that I'm drinking much more water and so now need a catheter to get around. You'd think that your bladder could hold 8 glasses of water without constantly needing attention, but that is not the case. I've stopped drinking soda and also haven't had any alcohol for 10 days, a new record for me. There's just too many calories in wine and beer. Something must be working because I've lost 2 pounds in 4 days. My goal is to weigh 78 pounds like Nicole Richie. No, really, I would like to lose 20 pounds. Even ten would be great. Even five. Most of my cardio exercise lately has consisted of walking which would be fine if I hadn't broken my i-Pod. All I have to listen to now is this tiny transistor radio thing that gets exactly two stations clearly--the Spanish and the Jesus channel. I could probably by a CD Walkman for not very much money. Maybe I'll do that today. Or maybe I'll save it as a reward for when I get down 3 more pounds. And then if I lose 10, I can get another iPod. Or Mom could buy me one...Yes, Mother? My God, I have to pee again.

You know who really needs to go on a diet is Emma Carol. She is a fat poppet. I am going to buy her little kitty weight anklets. She is the funniest cat ever--very licky and oftentimes, I'll look over at her lolling about on the floor with the pink of her tongue showing. She still doens't now her name and neither does Ernesto. I keep saying, You're Emma! She doesn't respond. She only answers if I offer her a bit of steak tartar.