Records

How my mind works: I was thinking this morning about my next Maven piece. I pitched the idea that I could write about the top ten relationship killers and that reminded me of this guy Jess went out with one time who didn't realize he was still wearing the plastic height and width tag from the Gap running down the back of his new khaki pants and how that made her not want to date him anymore. Then I thought about how MS mentioned that the guy she's seeing keeps wearing the same dumb beaded necklace, even in the shower and how it drives her crazy, but she can't think of a way to tell him to take it off b/c she knows it's superficial.

That reminded me of that one campfire horror story, "The Girl with the Black Ribbon." It's some story I first heard in Girl Scouts about a man who marries this beautiful woman but she always wears this black choker ribbon around her neck and she warns him never ever to take it from her. Of course, he can't resist this ultimatum and unties it one night while she's asleep beside him. Her head falls off and rolls across the floor. Her eyes open and she screams, "I told you not to do that..." A cautionary tale for young girls about not giving in to temptation and to never wear chokers. They're just not cool.

This story made me remember how I had also heard it on a record once; some record I checked out from the library that had scary stories on it. I don't know why I would have picked a scary record; I startled easily as it was, but maybe I wanted to play it at a slumber party or somewhere. Then I realized that I sort of miss records, even though I never owned many. I only can think of three: the soundtrack from Walt Disney's Bambi (perfect for creating an intricate ballet in your bedroom including pirouettes and leaps off the bed while wearing gauze curtains as a skirt and a one-piece bathing suit), the Sean Cassidy album (given to me by the enviously tiny and elfish Julie Brown at my 9th birthday party. I thought it was an extremely generous gift), and the soundtrack from The Muppet Movie (useful for practicing singing duets by yourself. And, for dramatic purpose, Kermit's rendition of "The Rainbow Connection" remains the most moving song on the whole record. I could nearly bring myself to tears while singing it). I also recall that my uncle's had that record by Bill Cosby--the one about the chicken heart that ate the world. Another scary but funny story, and I still vaguely remember the "thump-thumps" of the heart coming down the street after people, even though I couldn't have been more than 3 or 4 when I heard it.

That reminded me of this weird babysitter I had when I was little; she didn't babysit me more than a couple of times. She was the daughter of our next door neighbor in Schaumburg (the Farrell's?) and she or her brother would sometimes sneak cigarettes by hanging their heads out of the bathroom window. Anyway, her brother paid her to be allowed to scare me. She told me he was going to do it so I would be less scared and so I would know who it was. Then he came into her room wearing a sheet and carrying a butcher knife. It was still scary.