OMG, WTF, LOL, JK
Have not much to say today, but I will include a link to my latest article in Philadelphia Maven Magazine. Please keep in mind that I have to write these pieces two months ahead of time, so this piece does not in any way reflect my particular state of mind. I am totally, totally, over it. That said, I keep thinking about how I am too, too suggestible. The particular person mentioned as the last break-up I experienced also made vague references to the fact that he didn't want to date me because he suspected I was crazy. After he said that, I sat blankly for awhile and then stood up, pulled up my shirt and shouted, Is it crazy to have your name tattooed on my body after having dated for two weeks???? So, now, I occassionally take out his idea of me an examine it to see if he's right, even after never having considered it before. For instance, I realized recently in the process of clearing out my sent message box on my phone, that I had sent him the same text message 3 TIMES. 3 TIMES, like an insane lady (this is a morality tale about the dangers of texting and drinking). This makes me want to call him up and go, Yeah, sorry about that. I only meant to send it once. But of course, you can't explain yourself either, not after this amount of time, because that's another sign that you're cuckoo. And recently, I looked up his blog to see if he had posted anything new. He had added an entry that very day. I left a comment. Something like, Awesome that you're writing. I hope you keep doing it and that you're well...But then, I put on his hat, his hat that thinks of me as an insane person, and I imagined him going, OMG, she has been checking my blog every day for two months! Waiting for me to write! (Maybe he has a tracker and knows that I haven't been reading it). Or, what if he has seen me walking home from the subway, wearing my i-pod and sort of singing and swinging my bag and then stooping to pet a St. Bernard, talking to it, going, Good boy! Through clenched teeth in that way you must when talking to dogs. That vision would again affirm his opinion of me as a loose canon. Sucks that I can't have "do overs," if I happen to accidentally behave like a side character from Benny and Joon. "I'm not crazy!" she yelled wildly, shaking her fist at the sky. And even writing about it here is CRAZY! Using capital letters: crazy! But then I just remember the things he did that were somewhat certifiable. I can think of, oh, five or so just off the top of my head. I won't list them here though, because I am not that kind of girl. Even if he thinks I am.