Bite Me

Finally went to the dentist today after about fifteen years. I realized that I have only visited a dentist maybe three times in my adult life. No wonder they have to now pull out all of my teeth and give me new ones! I asked for pink dentures with sparkles. I would rather have fifteen appointments at the doctor to get a series of rabies shots in than stomach than one dental appointment. You cannot escape pain. Even taking X-rays hurts because they make you bite down on a piece of cardboard. And I totally hate the scrapping of the teeth---the sound, the way it feels, the bits of plaque that fly out of your mouth. Today was not totally bad because it was only the X-rays and then her telling me how awful my teeth are and how I will have to have a root canal and also go to an oral surgeon so s/he can yank out this other tooth that fractured long ago and replace it with a $10,000 piece of metal after drilling a hole in my jaw.

I would sort of love to get braces to fix my snaggletooth. I don't mind it so much now, but what will I do if the one really crooked tooth keeps fighting its way out of my mouth and I end up with a single fang jutting from my lip?