The Italian Stallion and I

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Dear Joey,

I realize we barely know each other, but from the moment I first saw your well-oiled, muscular body at the Cave on Saturday night, I understood that we are meant to be together. Remember what you were wearing? Remember how you came out on-stage in those cute overalls with a white wife beater and construction boots? You carried a Goodrich tire which you bounced seductively right in front of me. The room rang with the screams of women and young ladies waving dollar bills toward you. Cameras flashed in your doe eyes, making you blink, though you never once faltered in your striptease. I saw soon-to-be-married women in their Bachelorette gear jumping up and down, overweight suburban secretaries, and bleached blond, fake tanned ho's vying for your attention. You gave the crowd a brave, toothy grin while simultaneously ripping off your pants to reveal your tight spandex underwear. It was so beautiful. That's when you glanced over at me. I hope you could see that I wasn't acting like the other girls. I wasn't jumping up and down or clutching my face or playing the fool. I was trying to show you that I want to know the REAL you; the man behind the spiked hair and diamond clip on earring. I wondered, What does he do for fun? Where did he grow up? Does he collect anything like maybe ships in a bottle? What are his true dreams? You winked at me in that moment and I knew we shared something true. When you came around to collect dollar bills placing your pelvis in my face, your eyes lit up when you noticed I held a five instead of a one. I slid it into the waistband of your jock, but was careful not to grope you like the other girls had done--like you were some kind of exotic animal or a dolphin or something. I couldn't believe it when you leaned down and kissed me on the mouth! I could smell your rough cologne and taste the bubblegum on your lips. I will never forget it.

I only regret that when I ran from the building to withdraw more money from my ATM, I missed my chance at a lap dance with you. But I will be back, Joey. I will be there on Friday and Saturday and Sunday (possibly Monday if my book club is cancelled).

Until then!

Love,

The Woman in the Hawaiian Print Caftan

Comments

Anonymous said…
Baby, $5?? We need that cash to buy things like curtains.
12:38 PM
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