Purchase the music from Grey's Anatomy Complete with Video Images

I don't typically watch Grey's Anatomy--it's not like a boycott it intentionally, it's just that there's a few annoying things about it and if I have to watch a show about hospitals, I'd rather watch ER. Shawn said last night that the show feels like the adult version of the OC (he also said that the main woman has a face like she's about to cry all the time. He said, "You know, that crying face because her eyes are squinty and have bags under them. Kirstie Allie had it too").

So my choices last night at nine o'clock were GA or Deal or No Deal (Thanks, but No Thanks) and Nightline. GA was the season finale, which might make you think that interesting things were going to happen. Here's the synopsis:

The black surgeon has some kind of injury and may lose his ability to operate again (I couldn't make myself empathize with him. I kept thinking, Well, become a pediatrician or a family practioner then). His gf, the woman who rode the motorcycle in Sideways, had trouble dealing with his injury but then at the very end, she decided to hold his hand. The pretty blond supermodel fell in love with a guy in need of a heart transplant that she'd known for about one week. He asked her to marry him. Unfortunately, he was low on the transplant waiting list so she and four of her colleagues stopped his heart to essentially damage it enough to get him status-1 (at the top of the waiting list). He received the heart transplant and died and she laid down on top of him in the bed and cried and then quit her job. Oh, in the background of all of this, the staff was also planning a prom in the hospital because it was the dying wish of a 16 year old girl with the type of fatal cancer that does not require bedrest. They had streamers and balloons and the men wore tuxes and the woman ball gowns and Cry Face did nothing with her hair except use a curling iron to get it into two long sausage rolls that hung around her face just like my friend Wallis Payne used to do when we were thirteen and trying to look like we had feathered hair.

The only reason to watch the show at all is to applaud comeback king, Patrick Dempsey, the teen star of Loverboy and Can't Buy Me Love. I've always liked him and he grew up to be a handsome man with the same baby face as before. Anyway, he and Cry Face are in love too, even though he's married. At the end, they make out and possibly have sex on a gurney (I'm not sure b/c Shawn switched over to PBS for awhile). Then that heart guy died, the pretty girl quit, and the show ended for the season. Oh, wait! I almost forgot the cliffhanger! Cry Face finds herself having to chose between Patrick Dempsey and Chris O'Donnell, the vet who put their sick dog to sleep earlier in the show. The last shot is her looking from one face to the other, eyes welling with tears or maybe not, it's impossible to tell.

Okay, where to start? First of all, not one of those residents would agree to stopping a heart and if they did, they would all go to jail. Aside from which, heart transplants do not happen that often because you need to have a blood type match and because only 2 percent of people actually die of brain death and less than half of that number become organ donors. So basically, you're talking at most a one percent chance of donation lessened even further by blood type. It's not like a person tips to status 1 and UNOS pulls out a heart from a freezer that matches and just, you know, throws it in the microwave to defrost before sending it over. Yes, I have worked in organ and tissue donation. TALK TO YOUR FAMILY ABOUT DONATION! SAVE A LIFE!

In addition, no hospital would agree to throwing a prom because one patient has cancer. On top of which, none of the doctors would dress up as did every cast member in Grey's Anatomy. Don't they have to work? And if they are off, wouldn't they just be like, You know, fuck this prom bullshit, I want to get in my pjs and rest before my next 12 hour shift. But no, everyone showed up in formalwear that they happened to have hanging in their closets.

I also noticed that the show could probably be cut to thirty minutes at most because they take a five minute commercial break for every 7 minutes of the show. Seriously.

Lasty, and I believe this is the case with every episode of Grey's Anatomy, every four minutes there's a sappy song that starts swelling in the background to supplement and make more poignant the moments of pain, grief, love, lust, vomiting, and chest compressions. It's ridiculous. The whole show is a music video interspersed with dialogue like "I can't stop staring at you. Don't you think if I could stop staring at you, I would? I stare because I can't not stare. I stare because of the gigantic bags under your eyes, okay?"

Comments

Anonymous said…
OMG...you are quoting UNOS statistics and other GLDP lines! what has happened to you? ;-)
Aimee said…
I quote GOL all the time! I can't stop talking about brain death...

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