"Could I Get, Like, a Decaf Latte with Skim Hold the Mayo?"

I pride myself in frequenting the local coffee shop on 9th street, even though it is seconds away from the seductive glowing green and white Starbucks mermaid and the coffee is five cents more expensive and the woman there never quite seems to remember who I am. However, today, I was behind two women who were speaking mainline Valley girl. "So, I like totally love those boots!" "Thanks! I got them on sale for like $150!"

They had both ordered specialty drinks that take five to ten minutes to make because you have to steam the milk and fry the espresso and add the whipped cream and then the chocolate sauce, etc. The barista was just completing the last flourish of chocolate when the shorter of the two women goes, "And could I also get, like, a decaf latte with skim?" I wish the barista had responded by saying "Do you want a drink like a decaf latte with skim, or do you actually want that exact drink?" I turned around and left, accidentally slamming the door too hard and feeling rude, but JHC, order the drinks at the same time. I know you don't have a job or anything, but others of us do. So, I'm drinking Starbucks. And it's all her fault. But mmmmmm, it's good.

I

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