Dear President Obama: Please Stop Trying to Make My Life Better!

Much Heterosexual Love,

The Conservatives

So now the argument is that giving health care to Americans is a violation of human rights. Like, how dare you mandate that I be protected against illness, debilitating disease, injury, or epidemics!  You know what else we should repeal? Seat belts. Why do I have to wear a seat belt? What if I have a large stomach or am pregnant and wearing a seat belt is uncomfortable for me? The government has no right to tell me that I must wear something that could save my life at the expense of causing me some discomfort. It's my life! And while we're at it, let's do away with drunk driving laws or legal blood alcohol limits. Hey, it's my body; if I want to drink 10 beers and then speed down the highway, why can't I? If I die, it'll be my fault and I'm okay with that. And also, don't tell me that I have to register my gun. Haven't you heard of the second amendment to the constitution written 200+ years ago when it was also okay to keep slaves wherein our forefathers gave every man, woman, and chirren the right to bear arms? It's right next to the still valid third amendment, which prohibits the government from using private homes as quarters for soldiers during peacetime without the consent of the owners. And now that I'm thinking about how the government can't tell me what to do, I wonder why it is that if I'm gay, I can't marry whomever I want? Or why it's still considered illegal to be non-hetero in the military? Or why the gov't would have any say in whether or not I have an abortion? Again, it's my life, and my body. I should be able to do whatever I want with it, regardless of how it might impact my own well-being or the health of others.

Remember who ran the tea party in Alice and Wonderland? A bunch of crazies who spouted nonsense and contradicted rational thought at every turn.


dan Fernandez said…
brilliant and hilarious