As if, Like, Fer Sure...

We will talk on Monday in the writing class about how not to use metaphors and similes. They are so hard to write well, because many are common cliches and others just don't work. Examples of bad similes:

She smiled at him like a snake charming a snake charmer.
Her eyes danced like two shooting stars across the sky.
He felt as heavy as a 550 pound barbell 400 feet beneath the ocean.
The dog's tail wagged like a tsunami.

Another thing to be really careful of in fiction at all costs is personification. It's hard to do well. Examples of bad personification:

The scissors cut angrily into the paper.
The graffiti on the brick wall gloated boldly under the streetklamp.
With a quick jump, the dice hurled themselves across the table like two tiny square soldiers running from war (hey, bad personification AND a bad simile).