Alas and Alack

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Sorry to say that I missed The Bachelorette viewing on Monday, at least for the most part. It keeps starting too early. Most nights at 8 o'clock, I've just finished listening to Terry Gross for an hour and have to go lie down to get the sound of her wispy voice out of my ear. And I also wasn't at home and didn't bring my computer with me.

But listen, the show was two hours long again. Anyway, I caught the last maybe 30-40 minutes of it. It focused solely on the four hometown dates with Deeyawna visiting the men's family. I briefly saw the Jason date and later heard from Jess and Julie how he's a wonderful dad and how much he loves his son and how they both cried (Jess and Julie, not Jason) when he had to leave the toddler to go back to Hollywood. I didn't see the hometown dates with the other two. I imagine that Jesse's (that's the guy with dippy long bowl cut) family all sat cross-legged on surf boards to pass a joint and then ate cherry pie without utensils. The guy with the eyes too close together...uh...Bryan? Jeremy? I feel like his name begins with one of those two letters...I suppose he took her on a tour of the robot factory and/or laboratory where he was conceived.
And then Graham. Still adorable, but it seemed like his Southern accent went up by about 87% and then I started thinking of him as Graham Cracker. He took Deeyawna to his old high school gym (makes me think of that someecard "You peeked in high school") where he gave her an over sized jersey with her name on it and his last name which I thought was totally weird. They shot baskets and the viewing audience yawned and asked if there was anything for dessert (no). They made out and then he took her home to meet his boring parents and we realized what he might look like when he's older and decided he wasn't that great of a catch after all. Something happened at the end of the visit where Deeyawna was trying to get him to talk and he didn't say anything. I guess that was disappointing for her, but really, how many guys will confess their feelings out loud and then how many of them will do that on camera?

Rose Ceremony: Keeps the two dumb asses (Jesse and Mr. Roboto) and cuts G. Cracker who, as it turns out, has written her a letter to express his feelings. I was surprised to learn that he could write and it appeared that he even spelled her name correctly in the salutation. She sobs and cries out on a bench with him and he still doesn't say anything. But in the limo, he has tears in his eyes and we all wonder if she made the biggest mistake of her entire life ever, one she will regret for the next fifteen minutes, no do overs, no go backs, etc., etc., (this is how they play it up on the show). Next week: the fantasy suites and previews show it looking like Jesse may say no to an overnight date with D. because, dawg, he's got his homies in town, check it, give him some knucks! (this is how he talks).

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