How Many Licks Does it Take to Get to the Center of the City?

I have a brilliant idea: Why doesn't Philadelphia develop an above-ground system of public transportation, perhaps buses, to help its citizens travel from place to place? Wouldn't that be grand and helpful? And maybe the buses could be scheduled to run about every 15 minutes. I mean, the city isn't that big, but they could get maybe more than one bus.

Last week after the art extravaganza, Lisa Marie and I walked down 10th Street from Vine in the rain, hoping that maybe we could get the bus that supposedly runs down that way. We waited and walked. And walked to the next block and waited. And made it to South Street and waited. And then walked. And then suddenly, an hour and a half later, we were home! All on our own. No bus bothered us the entire time. The same thing happened on Friday--different street. I was meeting Kim at Market and 12th and decided I'd go down 7th and hop onto the bus whenever it arrived. Which it never did. What typically happens when a bus does actually show up is that it won't just be one--it'll be three in a row. SPACE THEM OUT! I mean, this is a very walkable city but it kind of sucks to have to walk everywhere, every time. Maybe I should buy those sneakers with the wheels and glide my way around.

Many birthday wishes this week. Julie's birthday was on Friday, and then Christi had a birthday party at her house and Padhraig's birthday is on Monday, so they should all be wished well and sung to, etc.

I have my next assignment for this freelance column. I am to write about crushes on strangers (such as coffee shop boy). The other idea I sent was the X Factor; keeping track of your exes and how it can be satisfying and/or devastating (satisfying if they're not doing well; devastating if you run across their wedding photos). She said I could write that one next. I think I'll call it the X Files...The mystery of why we need to know what's become of people we used to date and how that's even easier to do now with the Internet. In fact, one of the guys I pined for in college is now a friend on my Facebook page where I can look at photos of him and read about how he misses his girlfriend and generally observe him from far, far away in the most superficial ways. It's weird too how that energy doesn't just snuff out. I saw another ex recently (not Shawn) and it was still there; this thing and nothing will ever happen but why doesn't that attraction fade away? Can't you, like, grow out of it? I guess you just have to figure out how to renegotiate the dynamic. And not spend too, too much time reminiscing with the other person because one memory leads to another leads to another and before you know it, you're having this only slightly veiled conversation about the first time you had sex (sorry, mom. This is all hypothetical, really).

Is there any way that I can express how much I love Emma? She makes me laugh pretty much every time I see her because she is so fat and goofy and just all over the place and chirping the entire time. And she's so stumpy. If she were a person, she would be an adorable overweight girl who's only five feet tall.