The Bachelor: On the Wings of BS

Missed most of the first hour b/c we were messing around with a video, but one of the highlights we caught was the one on one girl going, "It was so beautiful to hear the sound of the grasshoppers..." Dan said, "Doesn't she mean crickets?" There has been an unbelieavel amount of bad music on this show--including Chicago and "On the Wings of Love." We're about to find out the big secret that's not a secret wherein one of the girls was supposedly flirting with one of the producers. Who cares? these women are pretty aggressive. I wonder how much time they actually have with him one-on-one...Like, it seems from the editing that it's only ever fifteen seconds. Vienna has admitted that she almost married her pastor's son and then married someone else and got unmarried. He gave it to Olivia, who must have confessed something great. Vienna is pissed off. He gave it to her because she asked him not to kiss her and htat's why he likes her. She did let him feel her up and touch her chastity belt with his tongue, but that's IT!

Oh, an explosion just went off (in his pants and in the sky) as he is being cock-blocked by the one girl who won't let him do more than kiss her forehead.

In case you weren't sure, the reason that Michelle is here is the reason that he is here and she's here for the same reasons (?).

Okay, so they kicked off this person because she had a conversation with someone from the production crew. This show makes women look completely stupid. I wish one of them would go, "This is ridiculous! Are you all serious!' Why are they all crying? Is this show sponsored by Maybelline? How puritanical are these women? It's not like she had sex with him and who cares even if she did--they're all unattached.

The term "right reasons" has been said more than 200 times.

Chia will accept this rose, so will Temple ?, Ella (someone's mom?), Felicia (never saw her before), Cory (soon to be gone), they must have told him to pick only the girls with strange names, Jessica (who again?), Ashley H. (bad long hair and hung out with him in a bikin), Michelle (voted most likely to stab him in the heart), and finally...........................................................................Katherine. So bug eyes and the teacher are going home. Ladies, say your good byes. One of the Ashley's got sent home. She's not sure why she's being sent back to Pittsburgh. Christina is disappointed and able to almost cry about it. She has either a tatooo or a day-old bar stamp on her wrist (or maybe it was a suicide attempt). I am so happy that all of the blondes managed to stay in the game. Like, almost all of them are blond. He feels very lucky and very blssed to have possibly one or two real blonds on the show.

That's it. Sorry I couldn't give it more time--it's just not interesting enough.