Late tune in

To sum up: "Connection. Connection. Amazing! Amazing connection! Most difficult rose ceremony ever.I get lost in your eyes (cue 80s song). I want that rose. I want to have the most difficult rose ever. She's a bitch. Not here for the right reasons. Her reasons for being here are not right, they are left. She's slutty. Why is that one girl's face so flat? Are you talking about me? Huh? Which one are you? I'm the blond. No, I'm the blond. We're the blond (in choral unison)."

Missed the first hour because of teaching a writing class. I'm going to like these students a lot--very intelligent and dedicated and open. Polite, but also willing to disagree with each other, I think, which is also important. I don't know if I'll be able to make a Bachelor video b/c Dan's not here and I also am already in my pjs and not really safe for video. Also, the camera is out of juice, so there will be nothing to record.

Jake must let someone go. Who will he choose, Ella or Kathyrn? I don't know which one is which, but I think he should get rid of the girl with the fake eyelashes and the fake nails and the fake son. He'd like to talk to Ella outside. Okay, Ella's the mom. He's going to let her go. She will cry almost real tears. He says that she's amazing, but he's developing feelings that are stronger with other women (those without the fake nails). She takes the rejection well, but will probably lose it when they film her on her own. Shake it off, Jake, come on, you're dressed like a lumberjack. Now he's talking to flat-faced Kathyrn, who has such an honesty to her. Oh, he's going to let her go too! Awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Maybe she shouldn't have thrown a tantrum about him not looking at her enough. She's mumbling something...Can't understand it. Should confess that I"m only listening to the show, not actually watching it. He knows that neither woman is right for him. She says, You're making a mistake (setting us up for her return in a later episode). Oh, the women are freaking out that he sent both of them home, but are also probably screaming for joy inside. Less competition.

Seven girls are left, and one of them will be going home tonight, leaving...uh...wait, one second...Eight girls?Four?

Jake is saying how he has to let people go when he knows that they won't be the right wife for him over the next 60 years. Two of the women already have roses, so they're safe. Corinne wants to know if she makes him nervous or awkward. He says no. She says, But you're supposed to be nervous if you like someone. Whoops! Why should he be nervous when he knows that the girls will hang on with their fake nails until the very end whether they like him or not. He may be kissing someone right now--not sure since I'm only listening. Jessie wants to have alone time with him so she can tell him that Deanna isn't right for him. She too is wearing five inch long eyelashes. I don't know that he's going to respond to this approach, though he does thank her, so much. He finds Jessie to be so incredibly sweet and a good friend. He also feels a little chilly from her fluttering her eyelashes so much. Deanna is asking him if he thinks that his family will like him; because the girls don't like her...She explains that that's because she's jokey and the other girls are so uptight. A strategic move, Deanna, by acknowledging the obvious.

Clink. Chris Harrison announces that it's time for the rose ceremony and for him to put more mousse in his hair. Jake pretends that he has no idea how he's going to make this decision though I feel like he really is thinking, Damnit, I don't like any of these women.

Rose ceremony: Jake is giving a semi-touching (not really) speech about how it's so hard for him to hurt anyone and it means the world to him that ya'all would put your lives on hold, it really hurts his heart and groin to let someone go.

Roses go to:

Alli? Ellie? Didn't Ellie go home? Cue dramatic music and fifteen to thirty minutes of waiting for the next name.

Cory. Cory will you except this fake rose? She surely will.

WTF. He needs just a few minutes to gather himself together because he doesn't like any of them. Jake asks Chris his advice. Does he have to give out the remaining two roses or can he just send the rest of the bitches home? Chris says, I don't know. Which choice do you think will make for better television?

Final decision: Jake keeps stupid Deanna and sends home these other women who are nondescript. This is totally staged. Oh, whoops, her name is Vienna. She looks more like Deanna to me.

Next week: They are headed to San Francisco and he's falling for someone. Cat fight. Vienna is hated. I hope she wins. "It's not about sex appeal; it's about heart appeal." What?