The Biggest, Longest, Excruciatingest Show

Liz and I are currently watching this over-tanned lady from Days of Our Lives announce the weight lose of these very nice overweight people on The Biggest Loser. Might I add that Liz can do the math faster than this chick from the soap. "Thank you," Liz says. "Only when it's even numbers." While watching the show, we are eating crumpets with strawberry jelly, McDonald's French fries, ham, lard (with a spoon) and Spam with cheese melted on top and ketchup. I wish this show gave more tips on weight lose and exercise and I wish it didn't seem to take a sort of sadistic, voyeuristic pleasure in humiliating the contestants. For instance, they had to do a 100 yard dash and their competition was....kids! How awesome! How awesome that grown adults get to compete against third graders and fail. Commerical break where we are shown the other shows that we could be watching, such as E.R. Is Luka still on it? That woman from that other half hour comedy that I liked? My friend Dave cannot watch E.R. because someone is always in a life-threatening situation and has a head injury.

I am slightly embarrassed to admit that Liz and I just double-high-fived and spontaneously clapped with joy because the Red Team won. Who cares. I love high and low culture and I participate freely in both without guilt.

Hi everyone - Liz here. Uh, for the record, AIMEE spontaneously clapped. I did not. Although I participated in the double-high-five and unadulterated joy. Come on. Red was the underdog team...you were happy too. You know it.

Comments

Anonymous said…
just so you know, i've decided to quit my job and join a hari krishna group that works on the side as rodeo clowns. i feel like it'll be more fulfilling.

stop writing about fucking tv and send me an e-mail! Jesus!

you know who.
Aimee said…
I don't really know who. Jodie?
Liz said…
Well? Was it Jodie?
Aimee said…
I don't know! I haven't had time to write her back to find out. I've been watching too much bad tv still.

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