I Refuse to Sympathize with the Awkward

Look, we all feel self-conscious now and then and maybe some of us even feel self-conscious all the time. I know that I do to a certain level. Even when I'm alone, I sometimes disassociate and imagine how others might view me as I charmingly play computer Solitaire in a pair of ratty grey jogging pants and pitted-stained used-to-be-white tank top while chain-smoking and listening to Kid's Corner on WXPN. I think, Hmm...I guess I could still be cute if it was one of those life make-over movies and this is the before picture. Or when I'm walking to the subway and listening to my music, I'm really only thinking about me, me, me in a movie about a woman walking down the street to work. Sometimes, it's a horror movie where it's her last day on earth and she gets hit by a bus while lip-synching Madonna's "Cherish," and sometimes, it's a romantic comedy where after she steps in dog shit, a cute, dark-haired man stops on his bicycle to help her and they end up falling in love. In any case, I know what it's like to be aware of yourself, of the way your arms move when you're walking or the way you have mispronounced a word (Brooklyn Liz, you so obviously understand this too, right?) or the way you might feel suddenly vulnerable in front of a person you like.


Oh, crude, have to go be self-conscious at the gym.


AVaneCR said…
Sometimes, I feel being so self-conscious is like hell, but my mind and heart tell me that it's a privilege, we just have to learn how to control it for our ouw benefit.

Anyway, the gym, jogging and writing a blog is always a good therapy when you feel that you can't stand your inner chat anymore.

My best wishes,

Aimee said…
Thanks, Vane. You are right. I need to do more of this.