Coming soon: Trashy Neighbors

Shawn and I did not get the bid on the house we wanted on Miller Street. He took it very hard. I wasn't so so disappointed b/c I know we'll find something else and the back yard was somewhat claustrophobic and there was a basketball hoop nearby--it's possible that every night at midnight, some 15 year old would be out there practicing lay ups until 2 AM. We drove around Fishtown last night to look at a few other properities Dominick suggested. We were walking over to one of the houses a little further North when we saw some sidewalk drama unfolding across the street; a body flat on the sidewalk and a girl yelling and swinging at three fat guys standing nearby. One of the guys tried to hold her back while she continued to swing, her t-shirt riding up to show the white ring of her stomach hanging over the top of her jeans. An ambulance came and the girl knelt down and embraced the person on the ground, who couldn't have been that bad off, because he hugged back and there wasn't a pool of blood around him. The girl kept saying, "Leave him alone! Leave him alone!" though I didn't see anyone trying to interfere. Meanwhile, Shawn was commenting on the structure of the house we were supposedly looking at, but I wasn't listening, instead imagining living on this block where sad little street fights break out and people throw bottles at one another. We're going to try to look at a couple of other places at lunchtime, but I didn't like Fishtown last night.

I've been reading a badly written book called Manhattan Gothic on the subway ride to and from work. Be sure never to check it out from the library. 2 major problems that cause me to roll my eyes.

1. The dialogue doesn't remain consistent with the characters. For instance, the protagonist is involved with an Italian countess (aren't we all?) who speaks English, but in a somewhat stilted, old world way. That's fine. I mean, the novel is supposed to take place now, but it's not like the author has her saying, Dost thee wish for a bit of ale? But every once in awhile, the Countess will say something completely out of character like, "Well, why did you break up with her then?" (pg. 76).

2. Overuse of adverbs. Really, totally, completely. "I walked slowly down the corridor, boldly looking into each room, wondering quietly if she was being totally honest with me." I made that up, but adverbs = lazy writing.


Meanwhile, I haven't written any fiction in forever, so I shouldn't bitch. At least he's published (she typed, bitterly).

Comments

kali said…
well, i searched for my name on here and did not see it, guess it's time for me to leave.
kali butterly! said…
I just yell at my neighbors. Then you're the scary lady and you don't have to dirtball house.

did I already comment on here? Where am I??????? WHO am I??

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