And so it continues
Why do the women sprawl together on the coach with their legs intertwined, wearing J. Crew pajamas and holding mugs from IKEA? One woman appears to be clutching a mini-milk pitcher. The group date names are announced. This theme is "It's all about the ring." Dan guesses boxing or wrestling.
What I wouldn't give for abs like they have. Really. Every single one of them has a six-pack. I have...the opposite. A fluffy pack? A teddy bear pack? This episode is sponsored by Luluemon. Yes, it's female wrestling. The women admit they have never wrestled before. Dan says, "This is so demeaning." Arie stands with a jacket slung over his shoulder like a Sears model. Two real/fake female wrestlers step into the ring, one dressed like she's from the Grecian era and the other dressed like an extra from a Pink Floyd video. Billy Joel's daughter is not interested in doing any of this. What a disaster. The lady from Arkansas is crying because the GLOW lady insulted her. Bibiana is also crying. It does seem that they are using this opportunity to purposefully humiliate them. BAD. Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling was perhaps not part of the second wave of feminism. Now the women have to pick their wrestling alter-egos. Thank God the audience is just a bunch of the left-overs who couldn't fit into the Live with Kelly and Ryan show taping.
Arie has to wrestle Kenny (a real wrestler) from a previous season. He gets slammed on the ground by Kenny about 50 times.
Why does Arie not have to wear a cod piece and have his chest showing? I can't keep up with this because there's nothing to say. The women are pretending to throw each other around and Arie says seeing them interact this way is important so he can figure out who's up for a challenge.
Now it's later (or possibly still daylight, but they are making it seem dark). Krystal wears what looks like a man's velvet jacket as a dress. Arie seems into it. She talks like Marilyn Monroe. She says Hiiiiii to the first woman who interrupts. Bibiana remains pissed off and feels like she should tell him that Krystal is not cool because of her aggressiveness. The editing seems off--like super choppy, moving between scenes. Do these women really dig him? Just because he had Bachelor-hand-on-the -face-kissing training...He is a bit like the guy who brings his best friend to the prom rather than an actual date.
Even though I feel like I should relate more to Bekah with her pixie cut and theater major persona, she is sort of annoying. She gets on top of him like she did as Maggie in her high school production of Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. She ends up getting the date night rose. This makes Krystal confused.
More time filler as the women discuss how they feel about Arie and how they want to win and need to up their game plan. Meanwhile, Lauren S. is getting ready to go on her one-on-one date with him. If she doesn't get a rose on the date, she will be heading home. She wears a red dress and sneakers. She's so excited that it can't end well. They are at a vineyard. They are drinking wine. Duh, no duh. We are yawning. Tons of commercials. Back at Napa Valley, Arie and Lauren S. go into a deserted winery/mini castle. She confesses to the camera that she's really nervous. Arie is bored by her and she can't stop talking. He eats cheese. I would be terrible at this. He grabs the rose but it's a fake out. He can't give it to her. We saw this coming. Back at the house, the interns grab her suitcase and one woman starts sobbing. Krystal talks about how they should make the most of their time.
Group date with dogs. Annaliese is of course afraid of dogs (remember the bumper cars?). This is my favorite part so far. A bunch of dogs come running and there's a dog trainer who doesn't try to humiliate the people or the dogs. They are teaching them how to jump through hoops.
This is the first doggie re-enactment that I've ever seen where they show Annaliese as a child being attacked by a small puppy.
The women dress up in costumes and Fred Willard from Best in Show is making a guest appearance and telling predictablly cliched jokes that Chris Harris pretends to find funny.
Chelsea does a bad job. Ashley goes next and the children cry. I can't believe I'm saying this, but this part is dragging on too. Even though it has dogs in it!
For some context:
Arie pulls Chelsea aside first and she says that today's day was amazing, seeing all of those kids. Oh, right, she has a child.
The women who don't know him that well are panicking. He makes out with the real estate agent. Annaliese freaks out and rubs her sweaty palms on her dress from Rent the Runway.
Another woman is wearing the most serious red Marlene Dietrich lipstick I've ever seen. A lot of baby talk going on. Chelsea interrupts and Annaliese notes that she and Arie have no sexual chemistry and that she is probably going home.
Dan pinpoints Arie as a combination between Richard Gere and Ross from Friends.
The single date night rose goes to Chelsea for coming to steal kisses. This is a total mind f. He does seem to like making out with, oh, anyone.
We must now endure 33 minutes of a cocktail ceremony. Arie walks in to a group "Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!" Uh-oh, someone stumbled onto Bibiana's romantic vista that she set up (like she was able to single handedly bring in a huge bed with candles and a telescope). He un-originally takes every single woman to this same space.
Bekah lays full out on the bed and tell Arie that he's scared of her because she doesn't need him and she that's also what he likes that about her. Those were the same lines she said when she played Rizzo in Grease her sophomore year.
Tia brings him moonshine and they both get instantly drunk while sitting a hay bale (?). Dan, in a Southern accent goes, "His lips are like two hay bales."
Annaliese brings him to a rooftop and asks him to kiss her and he, the sleazebag, goes, I don't think we're there yet. Annaliese is having a nervous breakdown. A bit later, she asks him if he likes her or not and he basically says he doesn't see it, but he knows that she's an amazing person. Is there a limo always waiting to kick them out at any moment? We are watching human suffering, even though it's not a huge loss, it's still a loss. It's a constant audition.
Final rose ceremony. Pretty much everyone will be getting a rose.
First rose: Carolyn who cried when her friend went home.
Second rose: Kendall, she's blond and has pretty eyes.
Third rose: Ashey, wearing a yellow jumpsuit.
Fourth rose: Lauren B., not to be confused with Lauren S. who went home on the one-on-one
Fifth rose: Brittany.
Sixth rose: Becca K., I like her a lot. Another weird jumpsuit.
Seventh rose: Siene
Eighth rose: Krystal. Producer's pick
Ninth rose: Tia, the Southerner with hair streaks.
Tenth rose: Michael.
11th rose: Jenna who climbed all over his ass during their alone time.
12th rose: Billy Joel's daughter.
Final rose: Will it be Bibiana, Marikh, or I forget who else? We know that he doesn't really get to make the choice. Marikh gets the rose so Bibiana will go home. Dan is sad about this. I find her to be darling, but she's probably too much for him to handle. Or at least that's how they're portraying her.
Next week, they ride horses, they go on parachutes, a hot tub, a beach picnic, 500 kisses, we contemplate our own mortality.
What I wouldn't give for abs like they have. Really. Every single one of them has a six-pack. I have...the opposite. A fluffy pack? A teddy bear pack? This episode is sponsored by Luluemon. Yes, it's female wrestling. The women admit they have never wrestled before. Dan says, "This is so demeaning." Arie stands with a jacket slung over his shoulder like a Sears model. Two real/fake female wrestlers step into the ring, one dressed like she's from the Grecian era and the other dressed like an extra from a Pink Floyd video. Billy Joel's daughter is not interested in doing any of this. What a disaster. The lady from Arkansas is crying because the GLOW lady insulted her. Bibiana is also crying. It does seem that they are using this opportunity to purposefully humiliate them. BAD. Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling was perhaps not part of the second wave of feminism. Now the women have to pick their wrestling alter-egos. Thank God the audience is just a bunch of the left-overs who couldn't fit into the Live with Kelly and Ryan show taping.Arie has to wrestle Kenny (a real wrestler) from a previous season. He gets slammed on the ground by Kenny about 50 times.
Why does Arie not have to wear a cod piece and have his chest showing? I can't keep up with this because there's nothing to say. The women are pretending to throw each other around and Arie says seeing them interact this way is important so he can figure out who's up for a challenge.
Now it's later (or possibly still daylight, but they are making it seem dark). Krystal wears what looks like a man's velvet jacket as a dress. Arie seems into it. She talks like Marilyn Monroe. She says Hiiiiii to the first woman who interrupts. Bibiana remains pissed off and feels like she should tell him that Krystal is not cool because of her aggressiveness. The editing seems off--like super choppy, moving between scenes. Do these women really dig him? Just because he had Bachelor-hand-on-the -face-kissing training...He is a bit like the guy who brings his best friend to the prom rather than an actual date.
Even though I feel like I should relate more to Bekah with her pixie cut and theater major persona, she is sort of annoying. She gets on top of him like she did as Maggie in her high school production of Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. She ends up getting the date night rose. This makes Krystal confused.
More time filler as the women discuss how they feel about Arie and how they want to win and need to up their game plan. Meanwhile, Lauren S. is getting ready to go on her one-on-one date with him. If she doesn't get a rose on the date, she will be heading home. She wears a red dress and sneakers. She's so excited that it can't end well. They are at a vineyard. They are drinking wine. Duh, no duh. We are yawning. Tons of commercials. Back at Napa Valley, Arie and Lauren S. go into a deserted winery/mini castle. She confesses to the camera that she's really nervous. Arie is bored by her and she can't stop talking. He eats cheese. I would be terrible at this. He grabs the rose but it's a fake out. He can't give it to her. We saw this coming. Back at the house, the interns grab her suitcase and one woman starts sobbing. Krystal talks about how they should make the most of their time.
Group date with dogs. Annaliese is of course afraid of dogs (remember the bumper cars?). This is my favorite part so far. A bunch of dogs come running and there's a dog trainer who doesn't try to humiliate the people or the dogs. They are teaching them how to jump through hoops.This is the first doggie re-enactment that I've ever seen where they show Annaliese as a child being attacked by a small puppy.
The women dress up in costumes and Fred Willard from Best in Show is making a guest appearance and telling predictablly cliched jokes that Chris Harris pretends to find funny.
Chelsea does a bad job. Ashley goes next and the children cry. I can't believe I'm saying this, but this part is dragging on too. Even though it has dogs in it!
For some context:
Arie pulls Chelsea aside first and she says that today's day was amazing, seeing all of those kids. Oh, right, she has a child.The women who don't know him that well are panicking. He makes out with the real estate agent. Annaliese freaks out and rubs her sweaty palms on her dress from Rent the Runway.
Another woman is wearing the most serious red Marlene Dietrich lipstick I've ever seen. A lot of baby talk going on. Chelsea interrupts and Annaliese notes that she and Arie have no sexual chemistry and that she is probably going home.
Dan pinpoints Arie as a combination between Richard Gere and Ross from Friends.
The single date night rose goes to Chelsea for coming to steal kisses. This is a total mind f. He does seem to like making out with, oh, anyone.
We must now endure 33 minutes of a cocktail ceremony. Arie walks in to a group "Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!" Uh-oh, someone stumbled onto Bibiana's romantic vista that she set up (like she was able to single handedly bring in a huge bed with candles and a telescope). He un-originally takes every single woman to this same space.
Bekah lays full out on the bed and tell Arie that he's scared of her because she doesn't need him and she that's also what he likes that about her. Those were the same lines she said when she played Rizzo in Grease her sophomore year.
Tia brings him moonshine and they both get instantly drunk while sitting a hay bale (?). Dan, in a Southern accent goes, "His lips are like two hay bales."
Annaliese brings him to a rooftop and asks him to kiss her and he, the sleazebag, goes, I don't think we're there yet. Annaliese is having a nervous breakdown. A bit later, she asks him if he likes her or not and he basically says he doesn't see it, but he knows that she's an amazing person. Is there a limo always waiting to kick them out at any moment? We are watching human suffering, even though it's not a huge loss, it's still a loss. It's a constant audition.
Final rose ceremony. Pretty much everyone will be getting a rose.
First rose: Carolyn who cried when her friend went home.
Second rose: Kendall, she's blond and has pretty eyes.Third rose: Ashey, wearing a yellow jumpsuit.
Fourth rose: Lauren B., not to be confused with Lauren S. who went home on the one-on-one
Fifth rose: Brittany.
Sixth rose: Becca K., I like her a lot. Another weird jumpsuit.
Seventh rose: Siene
Eighth rose: Krystal. Producer's pick
Ninth rose: Tia, the Southerner with hair streaks.
Tenth rose: Michael.
11th rose: Jenna who climbed all over his ass during their alone time.
12th rose: Billy Joel's daughter.
Final rose: Will it be Bibiana, Marikh, or I forget who else? We know that he doesn't really get to make the choice. Marikh gets the rose so Bibiana will go home. Dan is sad about this. I find her to be darling, but she's probably too much for him to handle. Or at least that's how they're portraying her.
Next week, they ride horses, they go on parachutes, a hot tub, a beach picnic, 500 kisses, we contemplate our own mortality.
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