You only need to watch 1 hour

Here's the thing: I thought the state of the disunion was tonight and the show would be cancelled so I ate cereal and read a book instead of watching the show. I have an idea that I should live blog during the address as though it were an episode of The Bachelor. "You are all getting roses! Every last one of you. Nobody's leaving here with outta a rose and a MAGA hat." MAGA always makes me think of condoms because of Magnums. So many other things MAGA could stand for: Make America Gay Again (I'd support that), Men Are Giant Asses, Make America Greedy Again, My Aunt Got Alzheimers.

Oh, wait, we are back. They're in the bottom of a ship filled with boats. I won't comment on what she's wearing, but he is wearing a J. Crew jacket with a checked button up Chaps shirt under it and slacks. Really, the guys don't have to try at all. Somehow, the producers have figured out how to set a scene, but not how to have fans going so Arie doesn't sweat and have a shiny glow. He appears to be melting. Take another sip of red wine. Uh-oh, she believes in Jesus and he does not. She says that she could totally marry someone who doesn't believe in Jesus or have faith.  All of her family/church members are disappointed in her, for sure. I have to say that he's fairly ordinary looking. I mean, he's attractive, but he's like a guy who is okay looking but everyone thinks is hot because he raced cars (and now because he's on this show).

She says that she feels like she's falling in love with him? She said it with a question mark, in the same way that someone might say, "I don't care if you believe in Jesus or not?" He goes, "You are falling in love with me" like a hypnotist. Score, she got a rose!

Seems like everyone feels that it's inappropriate for Krystal to still be there because there are a lot of red flags going up. This is a made up conflict.

Arie arrives wearing a light blue jacket and another in a long series of button up shirt and who knows what kind of pants. All of the women are in various different dresses. Bekah, the taxidermist, says she wants the whole thing to be fun-hearted. She asks him a question from her book of questions and he picks number 99 because it was his first race car. The question is whether or not he would eat human flesh if it were the custom of where he was visiting. He says no, and she says she totally would. They have the worst kiss as Arie kisses her while she's talking.

This is why I should never watch the show, because they always portray women as back stabbing and obsessed with one another and cat-fighting. We do think of other things. We can focus on more than just a dude.

The youngest girl wants to know why Krystal is still there. She he is fairly articulate. Krystal is not sure why everyone is so mean to her. She throws pretend glitter toward them as a way to dismiss their hate.

Krystal gets some alone time with Arie. She wants to let him know where she's coming from. Arie says she knows him better than anyone else but her responses set them back a couple of steps. She tells him how she's fragile she is because she grew up in a bowling alley and that she had a mom who wasn't there for her. He tells her that it's only going to get harder as they go along. It can only work if you have trust and this will make them stronger. She says, This is our first fight and he says, It could be our last fight. Okay, now I'm wondering what I missed. She tells the camera that this is the first time Arie has been cold to her and she realizes she might be going home (she won't).

Final rose ceremony. Will Ashley make it? Looks like Chelsea and Tia both are safe. Arie says it's been a week where he's been falling for some of the women and then others are not so awesome. My guess is that the producers will make Krystal stay and send home the African American women.

First rose goes to...Bekah M., the fifteen year old nanny. Would you accept this lollipop?
Second one goes to Sienna.
Third rose goes to Kendall the one marked as the weirdo, but I like her the best.
Fourth rose goes to Becca K. Dan thinks they make a cute couple. She says, Duh, of course she will accept the rose.
Fifth rose goes to Billy Joel's daughter.
Sixth rose goes to Jenna who does social media.
Final rose goes to...... It will be Krystal because of the producers and because everything else is boring. It is Krystal. That means the woman whose grandma died will go home, as will the Indian woman as will the other African American woman. The women who go home are sad but not devastated because Arie is boring.

Are any of us supposed to buy this? I would love it if he ended up with Krystal. She's the only reason to watch.

Next week: They go to Paris and dance and kiss outside of Moulin Rogue. Outtakes of Arie talking to the older women at the bowling alley. The one lady asks him if he holds his ball properly. He says, I think I do. Again, this is when they seem the most real, in the unscripted moments. When will the producers catch on to this?

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