Dan's here!

Missed the beginning b/c we were eating some crazy burrito tortilla deal. Brad is man enough to wear a pink shirt. If he ends up not liking this girl he's on a one on one date with, she gets sent home. How is it that no one else is at this amusement park? This girl needs to stand on her own two feet, she says. Brad says she sounds like she's preparing for the worse. she says that she wants to confess things about her family and she can't stop gesturing. Is she trying to make Brad cry? Did your dad love you? Can I call you Ass? he says. Absolutely! says Ass-ley.Brad wnats to have so many more conversations like this later, just not with her. Oh, but he gave her the rose anyway. The ride to the top of the Ferris Wheel and CBS gets an nice upskirt shot of Assley.

I WISH I had the same size of earings that this girl with the birthday has. She is wearing bicycle wheels on her head. Many, many of these women are blonds and look exactly the same. This one blond says she's going to bring it, because she always brings it. 15 women who are on this date and he tells them that they all look equally beautiful in the same amount. Brad says that they should be ready on his dates to give and receive. One girl mouths, Does he mean anal? (Sorry, mom). They're going to be making PSA's, pretending that they have never acted before, even though they're all secretely actors. Brad shirtless, 25 minutes into the show. A little late, Brad. One girl gets to wear a maid outfit, one gets to wear a cat suit, one is a cougar, and one is in a neck brace. Unfair. I'm having a hard time telling these women apart. Shut up, Michelle, about your 30 birthday and how lame it is to be on a nationally televised reality show on your 30th birhtday. Lok, they can all act fine. Is this supposed to be funny that he's wearing a fake moustache. It's not funny. It's stupid. But the two girls get to kiss him. And I don't think they would ever really use this on TV as a PSA message. It just wouldn't. I can't see the Blood Bank of America or whatever allowing a scene that has a guy making out with two women. Is it someone's birthday or what? I feel bad that the cougar lady has such poorly done tan make-up on. The cougar girl wants to let Brad know how she feels and how she's much more classy than she fucking acts. The girl with the gian earrings is now wearing a giant necklace and pointing her finger at Brad and telling him that he has walls and she wants to peel off the layers (she demonstrates this). He says that he wants to find his best friend even though that sounds cliche. Rachel and Melissa have it out for each other and are fighting so that they can have air time, even though that makes them totally, like, immature? And like a 31 versus a 21 year old, and like, stop using your 21 year old language. The sweet girl gets to have the one on one date with Brad.

Shirt off, second time: 8:51 PM. Brad needs to give a slippery rose out to one of the women and he is giving Michelle the rose, because it's what? Her birthday??!

Shirt off, third time: 8:59. He's in a robe and Little Bo Peep is geting ready for her one on one date. Meanwhile, the Southern girl is calling her daughter and fake crying. The daughter doesn't seem to realize that her mom has left. I need to start wearing more mascara.Brad is taking Bo Beep on a date where she gets to wear this really fancy dress, as well as princess jewels, and be driven around like a princess in a Bentley. Bo Peep confesses that she's only been in two serious relationships in her entire life (she's only 14 though). Like the other women, Jackie reminds Brad of himself. Everything seems to remind Brad of himself. He still has his shirt on, that's a good sign. Brad is concerned by how real this real life is for this girl. She's scaring him--not sure why--he's worried b/c he doesn't think that Bo Peep will be able to put herself out there, or really, if she will be able to put out.

It's cocktail party night and Brad needs to make a decision about who to kick off and who to keep and Rachel and Melissa are still arguing for the 10th time in order to be on TV more. That is so stupid. Rachel feels like she needs to punch Melissa in the face because she's like a toxic disease. All of the other girls are freaking out because these two are trying to manufacture a conflict to get more air time, but absoltuely no one is saying anying interesting.

Sorry there aren't too many details. Dan and I keep having to stop to film every ridiculous moment we can possibly tape--which is really the whole show, but it's hard to do because there are so many women. Melissa is crying and Brad asks if he can please hug her real quickly. Doesn't she know how dumb that makes her look stupid and now she's laughing because she had onions in her pizza. She doesn't know whether to laugh or to cry. Now Rachel is crying and wanting a quick hug. SO STUPID. Rachel explains that she doesn't want Brad to get wrapped up into this drama that she created and is grateful for because it makes her stand out, even though it's in a negative way.

Then Ali and Roberto come onto the scene--what a lovely couple. And they actually seem almost happy, except for that Ali's dress is too small. Roberto isn't allowed to say anything. But he is totally adorable and may be wearing glitter. Melissa decides that she should cry in front of Ali--she is confessing that she's being targeted. Ali and Roberto are planning on kicking her off, I'm sure. How the hell would they know who is the most sincere? Brad is begging for their help.

How long is this night?

Special rose will go out to Emily, whose baby daughter is a cheerleader. She is cute, but she also really looks like a Playboy girl. Even with her fake accent, fake blong hair, fake boobs, fake perfecly straightened teeth, and real perspiration, she is the most authentic girl there.

Final rose ceremony. Four roses have already been handed out, so three will be going home. I think one will be this girl who I've never seen before in my life.

First rose: Chantal O. The slapper. She's cute, but she won't last.
Second rose:Sarah--oh, hta'ts the girl I thought I'd never seen before.
Third rose:Ali--the broad shouldered girl who must also be a volleyball player.
Fourth rose: Kimberly. Blond, of course she's staying. She has a smooshy smile.
Fifth rose:Chantal N. AKA Kiera Knightley's less attractive stunt double.
Sixth rose:Stacey. Complicated necklace.
Seventh rose: Ashley Ass. She will accpe this rose and she wil try not to fall down getting it.
Eighth rose: Madison of the vampire teeth. Please don't bite his neck. She is cute, I think.
Ninth rose:Lisa. Who is she? Is she wearing a toga?
Tenth rose:Marissa. has an Urban Outfitters headband on.
11th rose: Megan. Another volley ball player. Another complicated necklace.
12th: Lyndsey. The ginger. He wants another chance to make sure.
Last rose: Brit.Comlicated hair do.

Going home: Both of the drama queens plus the one who had to wear the neck brace. .She thinks she's so awkward and may be meant to be alone. This was kinda like her last ditch effort, even though she's only 23 years old. She dated people at work (kind of silly,since aren't most of the men in the Rockette line gay men? Mmichelle is going to go home to practice how to wear a strapless dress without having to pull it up every two seconds. Rachel, smiles through her tears. She wants him to say something more, but he won't. She should've known better than to take the hair off of his wrist on the first date.

Next week: We will be in Florida, so we may have to try to bring props with us on the plane. Maybe my stepdad will play Chris. Oh, dear, what is Seal doing here. What is the green bracelet stand for. Will Emily and Brad get it on in the barn> Who wnats to go home? Stay tuned...


Anonymous said…
julie said…
I watched. What a train wreck of a show. I already hate everyone.

Can't wait for next week.