But Call Me Betsy

In my fall fiction writing class, a common suggestion during critiques went something like: "I couldn't tell what kind of haircut she had...I wanted to know what color her eyes were. I just couldn't tell what she actually looked like!" Sometimes, another person might  try to help the writer along toward a more concrete description by suggesting that the central character give us this information by catching sight of her reflection in passing mirror or window, or in the bend of shiny spoon, or the wavery pool of a lake. Whenever someone asked wanting to writer to pause to describe the protagonist, I wanted so suggest that we refer back to any of the published stories we'd read for class. Very seldom does E. Annie Proulx have a character stop and ponder the amber sheen of her own eyeballs or the flowiness of her blond hair.  Raymond Carver, though he may describe the blind man in "Cathedral," doesn't pause to ponder his own bloodshot eyes in the b...

My friend Janell is also into the humiliation of pets for personal gain. Here is the evidence: I also got some good news today. I won first prize in Zoetrope 's all -story contest, which means some money for me and possibly action from literary agents. My story as chosen from 2,200 entries, so I feel good about that. It's a story I wrote last year in one of my Penn MLA classes. As with anything, I only allow myself to get excited for about 35 seconds, and then, I'm usually like, Well, but that's in the past. What's next? But maybe I'll try to enjoy this for a little while. The other thing it does is remind me that I really need to be sending my work out. Not to sound like a jerk, but I usually get a fairly positive response from my fiction. For this particular story, I even received a nice rejection from Tin House earlier this fall. So, you never know--what one journal might reject, another might really like. It also makes me self-conscious about my b...

Ernesto proved no easier to reindeer-ify. I promise that one of these days, I will write a post with some substance and no cats. Until then, maybe you can vote on your favorite.

Henri is 105 years old, but that didn't prevent me from forcing him to wear antlers. Please do not report me. Mostly, it was his pride that was damaged.

Leigh Ann has graciously loaned me a cat torture device---a set of reindeer antlers with a jingley bell attached. Emma Carol was the first victim. This is the best of about 500 attempts. Stay tuned for Henri (Comet/Vomit) and Ernesto (Dasher).

Here is a photo of what 65 percent of people are doing on the train (myself included). I wonder--is he surreptitiously taking a picture of me at the same time that I'm snapping his?

I love this Blogger app--let's me blog on the fly. We're on our way to Dan's mom's house in Sussex County. Here is an adorable pic of us from last weekend for y'all to give thanks for.

Here is the scene. One thing about the subway in Philly; if you hear it approaching as you're on the steps, you've already missed it. Don't bother rushing-- you will only be left standing forlornly on the platform as the doors shut and everyone who made it in stares at you with pity.

This is just a test to see how it us to post a blog remotely. Not sure how it will turn out...If it does turn out, what you're viewing are a bunch of dogs we saw this weekend on the dog strip of the beach in Ocean City, NJ. Be happy for the little miniature collie above who looks like he's about to mount the bigger one. His name is Lucky and he's 15. Still living it up, as you can see.

Well, it's mostly done. The appliances are in (thank God) and the light switches have been changed out. Overall, it was both harder and easier than I thought it would be. Harder because things came up that I didn't anticipate (needing a shut-off valve for the oven, having to put in two extra electrical lines for the microwave and dishwasher, appliances not fitting through the door the first time around) and easier because it's not like I really did any of the work. My friend Colin took care of the design and hand-holding in picking out the specifics and the installer and electrician and plumber did the other stuff. Well, I would say that pulling out the cabinets (with Dan's help) was a chore, but that was also the fun part. Now that it's done, I feel a little out of sorts--like I need something else to obsess about. The bathroom is next, but not until I recoup some of the savings I just shelled out for the kitchen. And here you have the final product.  ...

Did you know that you can buy a garbage can from Lowe's for $104? And it is not self-cleaning, it doesn't go around your house and collect the trash on its own, nor does it double as a back massager. It's just a garbage can with a step pedal and a slow moving top, so that as it closes, your cat is allowed extra time to leap into the trash. I would like to also add that it's not super cheap to buy dimmer switches and the like. One could spend $18 on a black light switch to match the decor. What kind of fool would do such a thing? I also bought a mission-style bed frame from IKEA and Dan and I spent about two hours putting it together last night, only to get the very last step (putting on the box springs) to discover that I'd purchased the full-sized side slates; not the queen-sized ones that would actually allow my box spring and mattress to fit on the bed.  So, will now have to disassemble side pieces and haul them back to IKEA, in hopes that they will allow me to...

Kitchen sink? I've been listening to too many Will Shortz quizzes on NPR lately. I can tell you that if I ever had to compete on that program, I would fail every single question, because I'm sure I would be too nervous to think straight. Well, and plus, the questions are sometimes hard and require the kind of mental gymnastics my brain won't perform, like, "Take the first letter of the last word and switch it with the second letter of the third word to come up with something that rhymes with the clue given and reveals the name of a Canadian sports team." Anyway, the counter tops were put in on Monday, thanks to Dan being willing to stay at my house to let the guys in. They also added in the under mount sink. Supposedly, it's all the rage these days. Don't be fooled. There's no plumbing under there.  Lovely I put him up there. He didn't like it. Next steps: electrician comes on Wed. to look at putting in outlets for the dishwasher ...

We have a black-tie awards ceremony tonight for work. This means we need to dress up in ball gowns or something like that. I always tell myself that I'm going to get something really pretty and nice, and I sort of half look for dresses all year. Then, the day before the event, I realize I have nothing new. I try on everything in my closet and realize that most of the dresses either don't fit or are too low cut for work friends. And then I wear the same black sheath I always choose by default. I also bring heels to fancy it up, but then only can stand to wear them on for about 15 minutes. I was not meant to be glamorous. Except this year, I found something really special. Just as an aside, thanks to Carrie for sending along this link to a blog t hat recreates famous album covers with cats. Love it! Here's my favorite so far:

Seems like every time I think I'm going to move forward with the next step of the kitchen, there's an impediment. Today's non-installation concerned the dishwasher. It's a mini-mini, 18" piece of technology that they were going to put in today, except...Of course, I have no sink and no plumbing yet, and so they can't actually install the dishwasher until that happens. Instead, they just set it into the cabinet where it will eventually function. I guess I didn't realize the steps. Like, you have to have the sink in prior to the dishwasher. It seems like common sense in retrospect, but having never done anything like this before, I didn't consider it. I also need to have an electrician install another box? canister? plug thingy? into the wall for the dishwasher and for the microwave, which was also put in today, but doesn't work either b/c of the lack of a plug. The stove guy was able to put in a shut-off valve without further complications. I als...

This title does not refer to a house where much dancing is done. It's a house in a state of anticipation. Rather, a kitchen that is holding its breath for the remaining pieces to fall into place. My whole Saturday was taken up by waiting with some trepidation for the Lowe's appliance delivery guys to bring my fridge and stove. They showed up earlier than expected, but quickly figured out that the fridge wasn't going to fit through my narrow doors. The guy than checked my stove to see where the gas turn off was. He couldn't find it and told me that I also needed to get a plumber in to install a shut off valve. And I needed to find a way to get the storm door off. I looked at the storm door. It doesn't have like two screws on it--has massive security screws that require a special bit to remove. I asked him if he could take it off. He said that he wasn't allowed to do it. I said, "Well, who's going to do it then? God?" I wasn't on my best behavi...