Extreme Make-Over of Your Face

For the most part, the programming on Bravo is okay. Or at least, it used to be somewhat decent, but now they have shows like Millionaire Matchmaker and Extreme Face Make-Over. It occurs to me that I might be confusing Bravo with the Style Network, a channel that shows the unbelievably tepid How Do I Look? wherein you have to yell back at the TV, "You look medium! You look minimally better than before!" It's hosted by the British woman who played/plays Felicia or someone on General Hospital. For the longest time, her featured trademark was waist-length hair and arch eyebrows. She's since cut her hair, but the eyebrows remain perpetually in a shape suggesting surprise. I digress.

Whatever channel plays Extreme Face Over should be ashamed of itself. In case you don't know or can't guess from the title, the show takes two ugly people and cuts the shit out of them, knocks out their teeth, sucks away their fat, and sews them back together with rhinestone thread. They get shot up with botox and then they have their hair cut and their make-up applied and get to go shopping for one outfit. By the end of the show, they have transformed from unattractive to plastic pretty and unreal. It doesn't matter what they looked like before, they have this sheen of sameness about them at the end. Maybe it's the teeth--the teeth are giant, straight, and white and when they smile, you feel like you're looking at a cartoon face.

Padhraig was kind enough to let me buy him lunch and multiple coffee refills today as well as letting me use his laptop every few minutes when it suited him. In exchange, I assisted in letting him look up journals through my account. Like me, Padhraig enjoys people-watching and making snide remarks about strangers. That is why we are friends.

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