Hot or Not


Is it okay to wear a pin on my sweater or does it automatically categorize me as one of those women who wear pins? Aren't pins coming back in along with the leg warmers and the gauchos (which I refuse to even consider)? It's not a wreath or a kitty cat or an angel. It's this head of a flapper girl in profile. I'm counteracting the pin with tiny-squared nude-colored mesh stockings and high brown boots plus an obnoxious sparkly ring so I'm hoping the pin looks somewhat ironic or whatever. And world hunger, massive devastation by our military, and the AIDS crisis in Africa continue, but does this pin look dumb?

We had two fashion casualties at work this week. One was this woman who wears clothes that are two sizes too small; she has a massive chest and it's always barely restrained by an off-white shell. Last year, her skirt was so short that when she sat down, you could see the control top of her panty hose. It's not that she's trying to look provocative. She just doesn't seem to be able to find clothes that fit. Anyway, the other day she wore a short skirt with a flared hem that fell just below her ass, high heels, a matching jacket, and the off-white shell again. She had forgotten to remove the huge price tags from the bottom of both shoes and so when she walked away, you were flashed with $29.99 over and over again. My friend told her and she said, You know, I just never pay attention to those things.

Yesterday, another employee was wearing a very dressy, low-cut jacket with a long black skirt with a high slit, black mesh stockings, and black combat boots. She looked like one of those flip-books from when you were little where you can change the head, torso, and legs so like the head is a princess, the body a pirate, and the legs from the ballerina.

I am a bitch.

This pin does not look good either, I've decided, but I'm committed to keeping it on for the rest of the day. Monday, I think I'll show up in my new sequined blouse and high waist khaki Dockers. Tuesday: a hounds tooth Talbot's blazer with a Victorian-necked shirt and flowing, ankle length calico Gunny Saks skirt. Wednesday: hump day! Time to turn up the heat with a zippered lime green pant suit with black flats. I’ll add a white kerchief around my neck for some flare and a white sailor hat. Then Thursday: Things really get heated up with the denim-squared vest over a white turtleneck and brown corduroy skirt with Docksiders. Friday: though we don't observe casual day on Friday in the winters, I'll risk getting written up for the sheer pleasure of wearing my new sweatshirt with the kittens tumbling across it, my white Reeboks, and black leggings. I'm sure I will be headed to HR by the end of the day what with all the wolf whistles and propositions that I'll evoke.








Comments

Karin said…
Back when I first got my cats, I would frequently gush about them to my grandmother on the telephone -- mostly because I didn't have much else to say to her. I couldn't say what was really on my mind, such as, "Why do I get a urinary tract infection every time I have rough sex?", or "Oh man, Nana, I was so wasted last night I woke up from a sound sleep and puked all over the guy I brought home from the bar."

I talked about my cats so much I think she thought I wanted to BE a cat, because every gift she bought me from then on involved depictions of cats in some form. I'd receive sweaters, pocket books, socks, slippers, accessory cases -- you name it, as long as it had pictures of cats on it.

Your plans for next week's outfits sound great. Hump day is my favorite.

We get some weird outfits out here in the Delaware burbs. One lady often wears button-down floral shirts with ruffled sleeves and shoulder pads. Yesterday I had lunch with a guy with jet black hair styled in a Super Mullet -- the hair on top was very, very spiky and the back was very, very long. There's this other woman who gets a super-tight perm every few months that makes her face look like a vagina (because its surrounded by pubes).

Not that I'm such a snappy dresser, not at all.
Dirk the Feeble said…
Personally I like those denim vests teachers wear, the ones with the appliques of apples or a schoolhouse or something. Very snazzy.

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