Hot or Not

Is it okay to wear a pin on my sweater or does it automatically categorize me as one of those women who wear pins? Aren't pins coming back in along with the leg warmers and the gauchos (which I refuse to even consider)? It's not a wreath or a kitty cat or an angel. It's this head of a flapper girl in profile. I'm counteracting the pin with tiny-squared nude-colored mesh stockings and high brown boots plus an obnoxious sparkly ring so I'm hoping the pin looks somewhat ironic or whatever. And world hunger, massive devastation by our military, and the AIDS crisis in Africa continue, but does this pin look dumb?

We had two fashion casualties at work this week. One was this woman who wears clothes that are two sizes too small; she has a massive chest and it's always barely restrained by an off-white shell. Last year, her skirt was so short that when she sat down, you could see the control top of her panty hose. It's not that she's trying to look provocative. She just doesn't seem to be able to find clothes that fit. Anyway, the other day she wore a short skirt with a flared hem that fell just below her ass, high heels, a matching jacket, and the off-white shell again. She had forgotten to remove the huge price tags from the bottom of both shoes and so when she walked away, you were flashed with $29.99 over and over again. My friend told her and she said, You know, I just never pay attention to those things.

Yesterday, another employee was wearing a very dressy, low-cut jacket with a long black skirt with a high slit, black mesh stockings, and black combat boots. She looked like one of those flip-books from when you were little where you can change the head, torso, and legs so like the head is a princess, the body a pirate, and the legs from the ballerina.

I am a bitch.

This pin does not look good either, I've decided, but I'm committed to keeping it on for the rest of the day. Monday, I think I'll show up in my new sequined blouse and high waist khaki Dockers. Tuesday: a hounds tooth Talbot's blazer with a Victorian-necked shirt and flowing, ankle length calico Gunny Saks skirt. Wednesday: hump day! Time to turn up the heat with a zippered lime green pant suit with black flats. I’ll add a white kerchief around my neck for some flare and a white sailor hat. Then Thursday: Things really get heated up with the denim-squared vest over a white turtleneck and brown corduroy skirt with Docksiders. Friday: though we don't observe casual day on Friday in the winters, I'll risk getting written up for the sheer pleasure of wearing my new sweatshirt with the kittens tumbling across it, my white Reeboks, and black leggings. I'm sure I will be headed to HR by the end of the day what with all the wolf whistles and propositions that I'll evoke.