First hometown is with the baby voice woman who has a shoulder disability that disallows her from wearing shirts that touch her shoulders. Doctors orders: all shirts must fall off her arms. I've diagnosed eczema.
"I don't know, honey. I haven't given her a rose yet. Let's see what she's made me for dinner."
They drive back from the beach and the littlest baby cries and cries. Amanda's milk comes in.
Dad seals the deal by telling Ben that if he has kids, he won't be able to go bowling. The toddlers will have to come first. Ben and Amanda kiss goodnight and she goes, "Hey, one last thing, can you help me with the car seat? You have a degree in physics, right? Could you just quickly set up this pack and play?"
Portland is a much cooler town.
At first, I thought she lived in a castle, but it's actually a whiskey library. Or, as Lauren says, "The whiskey li-berry" (right, Emily?). They sit there, not drinking any whiskey. Dan thinks her lips are too thin. I like it that she's wear a shirt with sleeves, even though it's made of flannel.
I believe that Lauren will be one of the finalists but then will not be chosen as Ben will decide he is in love with Caila. That is my prediction.
|This dog is available for adoption.|
He meets mom and dad. Mom is from the Philippines and dad is a white guy whose eyes are very close together. Ben never actually gets to eat a meal. Caila's mom is beautiful and has braces on both the top and bottom teeth. Maybe she could have taken her retainer out to be on TV? Mom says her daughter has very high standards and hasn't yet met anyone who is at her level. Ben expresses fear that Caila will not accept him even though she doesn't really get to do any of the choosing. None of the women do. Caila tells her dad that she is falling for Ben. Dad says, Darling, there is no rule book to love. Or to the color of your pants (orange).
Final hometown date. JoJo gets a handwritten letter from Ben, who apparently doesn't have an email account. Wait, she didn't get to see the envelope prior to opening the letter because it turns out that the letter is from her ex, Chad! Most "Chads" end up being exes. She cries and paces the living room while the producers focus in on a dozen red roses. She calls Chad and all he can tell her is that he literally has gone through, like, so much since she's been gone. He says he now knows what loves is because she literally showed it to him. Does he know that he's on speakerphone and also on TV? Phony scene alert. Maybe he and Ben can fight for her love with a good old-fashioned wrestling match.
Has Jojo been away from home for two years? Her brothers yell and scream as she walks in. Mom has had some work done. The brothers are skeptical in their oxford shirts. They look Italian but keep saying y'all. Oh, we're in Texas. It all makes more sense now. Dad is a short bald man with a little mustache. JoJo's brother is also named Ben. Will that cause some problems? No wonder JoJo has a giant mirror. Her parent's house is rife with Victorian furniture and people-sized oil paintings of warriors on horseback and mom's bed is a chariot.
So many tears this last hometown. Mom has perhaps had her lips done five too many times so that her face sort of looks like that living cat woman lady. Dad appear as if his job might be in imports and exports or a former serial killer or he may be a distant relation of Charlie Chaplin.
So, who will be ousted? Would he rather take on two toddlers or two grown men who want to beat the shit out of him?
Final rose ceremony. Come on, get to it. I am usually in bed by now. JoJo seems genuinely glad to see Amanda. Three roses. Four ladies. Please, no more commercial breaks. He should send Amanda home unless he is serious about wanting to be a stepdad. But I don't think JoJo is a mature enough. She's still crying about her ex.
First rose: Lauren. She will accept this rose and also a jacket as she appears to be freezing.
Second rose: Caila. Caila, will you accept this rose and this giant hair curler?
Final rose: JoJo. Which means he really would rather be with one of the remaining two.
Amanda/Mom goes home. She can have her own reality TV show now about being the most beautiful single mom in the world who is not also a teenager. She says she wishes he would've told her sooner and not brought her back out to LA. He says, Did you read the contract? We're on a TV show and I had no choice.
Next week: we go to poverty-stricken Jamaica to experience what Dan is calling the Fellatio Suite. And then Ben will send JoJo home in the least surprising rose ceremony ever.