Channel Six Presents Extreme Home Manipulation

I swear to you that I never watch these prime time make-over shows, especially after I read that some of the families who had their houses made over later found themselves in big financial trouble because they couldn't afford the taxes on the much bigger property (I think this problem was resolved in later episodes). However, NPR was playing some kind of nerve-jangling jazz and Bravo had on a rerun of Criminal Intent and so I started watching this network show and I swear to God, within four minutes, I was in tears. And you know how I mostly only cry when physically wounded.

But come on, this family was ridiculous; a wife and husband and their four adorable tow-headed children, all of whom were suffering from some life-threatening illness that would likely kill them before the end of the hour. It was some kind of blood disease or boy in the plastic bubble disease where they were allergic to oxygen and couldn't eat food but had to be fed through (discrete) feeding tubes. But of course, they were all also well-mannered and sweet.

I tried not to blame the parents for continuing to have kids after the first two were born doomed; I didn't see the beginning of the show so maybe they didn't know about the rare rare disease until it was too late. But if they did know, why did they keep having children? Anyway, that gross looking guy from EHM with the craggy voice and boy band haircut came in and asked each of the kids what they loved the most and they picked Star Wars, Winnie-the-Pooh, cowgirls, and I forget what the other one was. So, of course the people on the show then decorated the kids' rooms in thematic ways and gave them tons and tons of toys and Star Wars figures directly from Steven Spieldberg's house! And they sent the whole family to Philadelphia to a specialist who informed them that their kids could eat grapes and melon balls. We all cried.Next, they told the dad that CVS was going to pay for all of their kids medication and medical bills AND pay for the dad to go through medical school. We cried some more. At the big reveal, the family was informed that air ducts were built into the house so that the kids would only be breathing hospital quality air and they even had a separate, completely sterile kitchen for the mom to prepare their fruit and formula. The children loved their rooms and sang Winne the Pooh songs. Father was taken out back and given a huge SUV. I forget what else. But good Lord!

Next week, they're featuring a family where the daughter is severely handicapped and twisted up on herself in a wheelchair. Because of her physical difficulties, she can't communicate with anyone and I think the show centers around giving her the ability to "speak" through some kind of computer program. I will not watch it, I promise.

Spent some time this weekend walking around the city with Lisa Marie who needed to take pictures of words and images for one of her classes. She also took a few for me, namely those below. Look, look at the super scary Mrs. Claus who is about to attack the demure Virgin Mary in the forefront. And in the same window, we have the very cranky Baby Jesus surrounded by
cows, horses, and elves (not pictured). Finally, above left is the sign I passed for several weeks and thought it read "gentle" killing and was relieved.


Drew said…
That place is totally creepy. We walked by there last time we were in Philadelphia and saw the live pigeons in the window at night. If you look closely you can see where it says "live poultry" all faded out in the sign. We also saw a similar crazy doll display in a window, but nothing compared to the random guy on a horse riding down South Street.
Aimee said…
I love the doll picture and where did that dude come from on the horse? Come back to Philly again and I'll show you some even crazier neighborhood sites, if you're up for it.
Drew said…
The guy on the horse was just riding down South Street between all the cars sitting in traffic. I would guess he was on his way to a country & western bar or rescue some damsel in distress tied to the railroad tracks. I'll be looking forward to a personal tour of the strange and unusual neighborhood sights next time I'm up there. I still need to check out all the cool stuff they sell at Harry's Occult and Spiritual Supplies.
Ben said…

Read through the "readers" bios if you're up for some entertainment. P.C. on page 3 looks straight out of Harry Potter.
karlb said…
May I use your image of the baby Jesus/creche as a template for a book illustration?
Aimee said…
Sure, feel free. I'd email you directly, but I can't seem to find your contact info.