This must be brief

I have 14 thousand meetings today. I hate meetings. No one really wants to be there. I also hate doing interviews (and we have one of those today). It's so fake. It's the worst kind of equivalent of a first date without the meal. I hate asking the stupid questions as much as I ever hated answering them:

Question: Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Honest Answer: I have no clue. I don't really have a plan at all. I just really want this job so I can make some money.

Question: What would you say is one of your weaknesses?
Honest Answer: I procrastinate. I like to surf the Web and sometimes feel like work gets in the way of that.

Question: What are your strengths?
Honest Answer: I can tell you pretty much anything you want to know about Paris Hilton.

Question: Why are you interested in leaving your old job?
Honest Answer: I'm bored and want to make more money and I hate my boss.

Question: Why do you want to work at XXX?
Honest Answer: I have no idea. I looked at the homepage for about 5 minutes at midnight last night and so I'm not really sure what this place is about. Also, I can't quite remember what job I'm applying for here. I just randomly sent my resume out to a ton of places.

Question: Why should we hire you?
Answer: You really shouldn't. Knowing me, I wouldn't hire me if I were you.