Jennifer Love Hewitt's Eyelashes Cause Tsunami in Thailand

You ever hear of the Butterfly Effect? You know, a butterfly flaps it's wings in China and the resulting wind movement begins what will eventually become a natural disaster across the continent? Well, if the Butterfly Effect in fact exists, Jennifer Love Hewitt, by virtue of the false eyelashes she wears in her show Ghost Whisperer, may be the cause of global warming today. So, the truth is, I don't often go out on Friday nights. Shawn does. Shawn goes to happy hour every Friday from 5-11 PM. He can handle that kind of drinking and he likes to talk about airports and roadways for hours on end with fellow urban planners. I prefer to stay home, smoke cigarettes, read Lorrie Moore short stories, and watch 3 hours of bad network television while knitting scarves or baby blankets. For those of you who have social lives, Jennifer LH's show is about a big chested girl with sunken cheeks who can see ghosts and uses this power for good to bring families back together, solve mysteries, and have at least one scene per week where the curtains billow outwardly as the ghost "goes into the light." But that's not the freaky thing about the show. The freaky thing are the false eyelashes worn by JLH, which make her look like (1). A Butterick pattern drawing from the 1960s; (2). A very attractive drag queen; (3). An aging actress who's trying to appear as beautiful and young as possible. She also uses a heavy black liquid eyeliner on the upper lid which doesn't help to dispel the 60's mod look. I was so distracted by the eyelashes that I couldn't pay attention to the plot of the episode (well, yes, it was very easy to follow. Some 8 year old came back from the dead to bring her estranged parent's back together--a macabre Parent Trap). I kept waiting for one of the characters to ask her if she was on her way to a costume party--it was all the more noticeable because everyone else had normal sized eyelashes. Maybe they need to work it into her character, confront it directly, maybe she had a stove related accident as a kid that singed off her eyelashes and brows, and one of her struggles is to give up the falsies and embrace her true beauty. I can imagine the actress in make-up before a shot, having the lashes glued on, being "super sweet" about it, and then batting her eyelashes at herself in the mirror and sending Thailand into imminent destruction.

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