Mime This (Add Obscene Hand Gesture)
I missed some of the story because we were frosting cupcakes for Luke's class tomorrow. That's a first for me. Dan tried to hide the extra frosting from me, but guess what, I went ahead and dug it out of the garbage, because I have no pride.
Tension at the house as Andrew called the black guy a black guy. I feel like I missed something significant. He's saying how much it sucks to be seen as the token black guy, and to be judged not by who he is as a total person, but as a person of color. First time ever The Bachelorette has directly confronted any racial tension on the show.
First One on One
Josh M. has shaved for his date with Andi at this palace that I should probably recognize as a key landmark of France. The Louvre? If it's not the Louvre or the Eiffel Tower, I have no idea what it is. That's how
Nick is pouting because he's not really into the group date thing and trying to get Andi's attention. Later, they all gang up on Nick because Andi likes him the best. This is all fake, by the way. Andi wears another tiny skirt, this one is a tiny sparkly postage stamp. They have done her hair into a Brigette Bardot ponytail. Cody has just snorted some Coke and is acting crazy toward Nick. Veins are popping out on every surface of his face and thick neck. Andi again sounds like she has pneumonia. GOD, get rid of Cody. Omigod, if she is a jerk to him, I will stop watching this show. I like him, probably because he seems like a sensitive writer guy. Oh, wait, he just read something he wrote, and I am wrong. At least it didn't rhyme. Man, I have to start writing again. I can't be wasting my time watching this crap. All the guys make their pitches for her attention, mostly by stroking her long, horsey-like hair.
Marquel confronts that guy who doesn't shave for calling him a black guy and the guy denies it. I don't know who to believe anymore. Andrew tells Andi that Marquel said something to him, and Andi seems irritated that he isn't more into her. She just really does not know what to do with the rose. She gives it to the very wide-shouldered JJ who has a wispy clump of forelock, also like a horse.
One on One Date, Part II
Cocktail Party Cancelled in Hopes of Making Something Interesting Happen
We've been prepped by 16 previews to expect that Andi is going to go ahead and send ten guys home just for the hell of it. Fingers crossed that one of them is Cody. Chris Harrison says that Andi has decided to go ahead and cut only three of them. Cody feels like tonight was going to be a big night for him, as he was going to show her how much he can bench press. Come on, get to it. Patrick, you're going home.
More product placement as the new dumbest audience participation show is premiered. People who vote get to see their faces on the screen, and so far, it looks like about 50 percent of the voters are Mom's living in Montana. I will not be live blogging Bachelor in Paradise, don't worry.
Okay, let's get to it. Who is going home, for God's sake. I also like Chris the farmer, even though I don't believe for a second that he's a farmer. All the guys with bow ties are safe tonight.
Andrew, who was on the receiving end of male aggression, he says. I agree, actually.
Patrick, because he wears his hair like Clark Kent. He doesn't cry, because he is made of steel and she is not Kryptonite. Good for him.
Marquel, the black guy. He says not getting chosen wasn't in God's plan. I would argue that it was not in Andi's plan, ever, as much as she wanted to pretend that she was open to it. I like him, and it's a shame that he had to be the guy who was required to represent his entire race, even though they have never once had a black person make it to even the final six.
Previews for next week that I will not detail for you, because it features stupid Cody. Dressed as an Italian Kewpie doll.