Fifty Steps Backwards for Women:The Newest Reality TV Show on Fox

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The premise of Fox's newest reality show, I Wanna Marry Harry, is that you get together a bunch of single, moderately attractive American women who have been told that they're on a Bachelor type reality TV program with an eligible man, but that's all they know. As the show unfolds, they are introduced to the bachelor, who, in this case, is a doppelganger for Prince Harry. The producers work hard to make the set up plausible, by flying this look alike in on a helicopter, surrounding him with secret service guys, giving him a British butler ala Chris Harrison who refers to him cryptically as "sir," and situating it all in a stone castle. I mention all this to explain the total heinousness of the program, whose sole purpose is illustrate how stupid and desperate women can be. And it does seem pretty dumb to think that the Prince of Wales would agree to go onto a reality show to find his wife. If you know even a teeny bit about the royal family, you might question the plausibility of Queen Elizabeth and her entourage endorsing such an endeavor, even if meant that they would be raising money to save all the corgis in the world. But then you have to match that against the producers efforts to make it as plausible as possible. The upside of the show is that it only last for an hour, unlike The Bachelor, which stretches out for two to three to four hours. And then again, there is yet another reality show I saw a preview for that's a mixture of three shows in one--I can't recall the title, but it's honestly something like, Real Tiny Housewife Gypsies of L.A. It's about a bunch of rich little people with a lot of money. I guess they couldn't enough wealthy little polygamists hoarders living in California willing to go onto the show.

Kimberly questions whether on not it's really Prince Harry, because she can's figure out why the royal family would consider letting him hang out with a bunch of crazy Americans. Rose gets the first fantasy date and she comes to breakfast wearing cut off short shorts and a tank top. She is pretty bad, giggly and fake. The helicopter lands and Rose gets to go up it. They all have the same baby talk voices as if they've been sucking on tanks of helium in between takes. Rose and Prince Harry go to the Isle of White. I am not sure I can keep watching this though. It's super trashy. But is it trashier than The Bachelor/ette? That show has an antiseptic quality that this show lacks, and it's just as constructed, it tries harder to seem sincere--it tries harder to pretend that the contestants aren't just there for their 15 minutes of fame. Case in point, one of the girls just said, "Don't you dare call me a mean girl, you bitch." I don't think there is any swearing on The Bachelorette, but these girls drop the f-bomb with every shake of their booties.

Rose and Harry stand awkwardly in the water as his blinding white flesh causes her to fall into a sink hole.  He brings her back thankfully and the girls are pretending to know how to play croquet and to enjoy drinking tea. The producers make it seem like he has had to be whisked away for some security reason, but like, what would that be? Prince Harry has to be rushed back because...

Okay, that's it for me. I find it also too boring to write about because it's the same scene over and over.

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