Like a Sit Com Character

Last night, I had a moment where I thought, Oh, please, please, let me just go back in time. What happened was that I was in a nightgown (I change out of my work clothes even before I've arrived in the door. My key is in the lock and I'm already kicking off my shoes) and I decided to take out the rest of the trash. It was already dark, so, even though I was barefoot and wearing something that looks like a slip, I figured I could quickly take out the trash and run back in. This is called laziness. And cutting corners. And general foolishness, because I was in such a hurry to get out of the door and back in, I didn't put on a coat or a pair of shoes or grab the house keys. The second I opened the door, Ernesto burst out of it, onto the sidewalk and down the street. I panicked and shut the door after him. That's when I realized that I had locked myself out of the house. And was on the street in night clothes without a phone or any other device for rescue. Also, the cat was still running away. I could feel the immediate panic; not knowing what to do. I think I even stuck my hand in mail slot, as if my hand was going to suddenly shrink down small enough to fit in, and then stretch around to the door knob. I went after Ernesto--I could see he was near the alleyway and if he ducked down there, I would've been in real, real trouble. The last time that happened, Dan and I spent two hours walking around the neighborhood trying to find him. So, I went down the sidewalk, calling him, and he was freaked out enough to come to me. I grabbed him and hurried back to the house. I imagined myself going to my neighbors house and asking for help, but they don't have a key and I haven't memorized the cell phone of anyone who does have a key. Once at the door, I used my super human adrenaline terror-filled strength to break open the screen door and and shove Ernesto through the cracks and then I could reach in and turn the knob. The whole thing took like 3 minutes, but I needed like two more hours before I felt normal again. Morale(s) of the story: Always bring your keys. Always wear a bra. Never own cats.

This is what happens when you are locked in due to fears and inhibitions.

Aside from my pride, here is the only injury I sustained knocking in the screen.

 And here is what Emma Carol did to my other hand the day before.

You are now officially caught up on my life.