But Call Me Betsy

Every day, I wake up and read The Washington Post and go, "Are you high?" I'm not asking myself, I know that I am not high, but whenever I read the new strange thing DT has done, and I think he must be on some kind of drugs. Cocaine is my guess. Can you imagine what it must be like to work on his communications team? You would have to find yourself lying on a daily basis to try to change the meaning of whatever tweet he has sent at 2 a.m. Last week, it was something about re-starting the arms race with Russia. His staff then has to scramble to revise the message so that it's less threatening and crazy. KAC (Kelly Anne Conway) has to say things like, "He's not saying that he wants to start competing with Russia and other countries with nuclear arms, but that he wants to be sure that other countries are on warning that they shouldn't start building more weapons." Huh? Also, why? Why is he saying this? It's not in response to anything tangible;...

Had lunch today with the work group and got into a conversation about Trump and the man sitting next to me said he understands that I am emotional about how horrible he is, and then he patted my arm in a consoling way.  He meant well, but I was like, Hey, I'm not being emotional, this guy is scary. He's dangerous and unstable. He's tweeting now about starting an arms race again, echoing what Putin said hours earlier. I'm not sure that he's ever had an original idea that he executed. I mean, I believe that he has an actual personality disorder, and not one of the easily treatable ones, but more like a classic narcissist who only sees himself reflected in the world around him, and sees people and situations as tools to improve or threaten his situation. The other part that worries me greatly is that he seems easy to please and easy to anger, and therefore, easy for intelligent people to manipulate. Tell him he's smart and he loves you. Tell him he's an idiot...

No, I am joking. It is not a comedy. Beware. I went with Dan's mom to see Manchester by the Sea last night, not having any idea what it was about or any opinion about Casey Affleck, other than a certain tendency to discredit him because he's Ben Affleck's brother. There's nothing really wrong with Ben Affleck either, except he seems like a total guy, pretty un-nuanced. I am basing this only on the movie Good Will Hunting , which I haven't seen in ten years. But anyway, it's a good thing I didn't have a clue about the plot of the movie, because I probably would have declined to go. In case you're also unaware, it's a story about a man who works as a janitor in Massachusetts. He's not surly, exactly, but he's not friendly, doesn't connect with people, drinks a lot of beer, and punches men out in bars. You wonder what's wrong with him. His brother (played by one of my favorite actors, Kyle Chandler of Friday Night Lights fame--nev...

We went to Dan's 30th reunion a few weeks ago, which is not something I recommend you do as a partner who does not know a single person other than your SO. Women kept thinking they recognized me, but just couldn't place me. There would be a moment where I'd catch someone's eye, and she'd go, Hey! her eyebrows flying up, ready to give me a hug, and I'd be say, Hi! I didn't go to your high school. And then she'd swing away, taking a big sip of chardonnay. Which reminds me that huge social events where you know almost no one would be so much easier if I still drank. I mean, easier in the short term, because I would stop feeling so awkward after about one glass, but it would likely be bad in the long run, because I stopped drinking in part due to the day-after regrets. I am not a person who can have one glass of any alcohol--like, why? Why just the one when you can have ALL of it? The more you drink, the more you erase all of the uncomfortable feelings a...

Post apocalyptic dreams last night, topped off by the smoke alarm beeping to wake me up and the dog going into PTSD afterwards, shivering for ten minutes as he crawled onto our pillow. I dreamed that an old friend of mine and his wife were having marital troubles and he was stalking her, and so we were trying to protect her, but then we realized that the sea level was rising quickly, and he got swallowed up whole by a giant fish. We had to gather our family to escape as we watched the water creep forward to envelope the condo we were in, and it was filled with more huge sharks and other creatures who wanted to eat us. We got into the car and started to drive away, but the threat was that we would have to keep moving to higher and higher ground, because we were going to be inevitably swallowed up by water. My social worker friend at work has informed me dreams of being overtaken by water have to do with something you're not dealing with in your life. I am sure there are many thing...

I find it utterly infuriating that we have so little information from the PE that half the articles written about him are supposition, based on previous positions while still using the caveat that he is likely to change his mind. Sentences like, "He said he was going to repeal Obamacare, but then he softened on it, but now he's appointing people who want to do away with it, but yesterday he said he believes all Americans should have health care, but an hour later, he gave a thumbs up to a private organization meant to review policies, but today, he's saying he'll let us know in another week or so."  That's firstly. Secondly, it is fucking unacceptable that the PE refuses to live in DC and, thirdly, it's ridiculous and embarrassing that he also claims to be smart enough not to need daily security briefings. "They'll come to me if something's up," is basically what he told a reporter on Fox News (see--I have been trying to get outside of ...

I am not a person who believes in conspiracy theories generally and I don't read overtly fringe websites, though I did stumble on one the other day claiming that the 911 attacks were perpetuated by insiders, not Muslim terrorists. I don't believe that the pharmaceutical companies are in cahoots with research to stop a cure for cancer. I don't believe that JFK was killed by two gunman. I find it difficult to believe that Princess Diana's car crash was set up by the royal family. At the same time, I wouldn't be surprised if any one of these things are true, because deception is often just under the surface when money or power is concerned. I'll admit that one of my favorite quotes is "behind every great fortune is a crime," though the actual quote by Balzac is actually "The secret of a great success for which you are at a loss to account is a crime that has never been found out, because it was properly executed." At the same time, I wouldn...

I gave up the news for about two weeks after the election because I couldn't stomach it and didn't want to see his gloating orange face on TV, spreading more fear and mistrust every time he speaks. I have since let the news back in a little at a time, and am trying to do what someone recommended recently; to get out of our bubbles of news and try to listen to other points of view. I've attempted that too, though maybe not as much as I should. I am trying to watch Fox News or to at least pay attention to voices of those who are happy to have Trump as president, so I can understand why and maybe find a point of connection. But then I'll read about him bad-mouthing a union rep or giving a rally where he makes the idea of using gender neutral pronouns seem like a joke (at his rally yesterday, he pointed out that he was named "Man of the Year" not "Person of the Year," making the point that inclusion is for nasty women only), and then I turn sour aga...

If I could find one positive thing about Trump, maybe I could somehow stomach these horrid choices he's making for high profile positions. Like, one person who is in favor of some form of social justice. These are comically bad people for the positions they're taking on; either because they have little to no experience with the role they're about to have, or because they are so far removed from the issues they must face due to their personal wealth. A doctor with no political experience as director of HUD; a man who believes people in poverty should do the whole up-by-the-boot-straps thing and will likely support slashing public housing initiatives. An EPA director who doesn't believe in climate change.  A vice president who is adamantly anti gay, and anti gay marriage, who believes in conversion therapy. A national security adviser who was fired by the Obama administration for mismanagement and who tweeted that he believes that "fear of Muslims is rational....