But Call Me Betsy

Finished a collection of short stories called Barbara the Slut by Lauren Holmes that was funny and engaging and not that deep. There were about 10 stories and maybe all of them were in first person and a few were told from the point of view of a teenager, but not in a cutified way. One story was told from the point of view of a dog. I skipped that one the first time around, but went back to it after I ran out of other stories. Nothing deep about them--I mean, for the title one, you didn't get all of this detail about why the teenager slept with all of these boys--except maybe because she had an autistic brother and over-educated and slightly clueless parents, but I liked that about it--that she was just a girl who didn't really know how to be around boys and thought she had to sleep with them. It reminded me that I don't have to try so hard to give back story or meaning to my stories. That there doesn't have to be some big reveal, but I just have to render it in a...

Donald Tr*** continues to amaze and incite with his "Nuremberg-like rallies" (says Martin Amis in an article about Trump's books) and his latest proposal is that we ban all Muslims from the United States and then invade Iraq and take all of their oil to cut off their money supply. Anderson Cooper had to interview a guy from Trump's staff and try to not to guffaw out loud as he was saying, "So, wait, you agree with Trump that we should go into Iraq, one of our allies, and take all of their oil? You don't think that will create even more dissent and radicals? And how exactly would we do this?" The guy goes, "Well, Anderson, the devil is in the details. We'd have to figure out how to get it done, but I'll leave that up to the people who do this kind of thing." The collective strategy of that group is to propose whatever preposterous, xenophobic, racist idea they can come up with ("Build a wall and make them pay for it! Take the ...

Reading Eggers'  Heroes of the Frontier a nd wondering why he didn't call it Heroines of the Frontier since the central character, the one whose head we're inside, is a woman--a former dentist who has a loose-bowled ex-husband and two children--one brave and reckless (the girl) and one introspective and protective (the boy). She's at a crossroads in her life and decides to rent a rickety RV and take her children to Alaska to visit her friend/rival, Samantha. I thought I wouldn't like the book that much because I've been mostly reading mysteries, but it is funny and unexpected and not too big for its own britches. I also was resistant to the male author borrowing the female experience to tell the story, but it would be something else completely if the main character were a single dad--you'd have to focus on the weirdness of that, and he would almost be saintified by society for raising two kids on his own--so, I guess Eggers needed her to be a woman. She...

I missed the first fifteen minutes of paradizzz and all that's happened is that there's a new lady on the island who has gotten her claws into the unrecognizable, bearded Nick (former poet turned bro). The other women (particularly Mom x 2/Baby Voice) are upset because the new lady has had some lip work done and, of course, the false eyelashes. Lace has taken it down a notch by doing only two shots instead of one before lunch. She's desperately trying to establish a relationship with Grant. We watch her take another shot. Vinny conveys this to Grant and so Grant decides to go find her. I hope she doesn't start crying because her fake eyelashes will come right off.  STOP drinking. Meanwhile, Leah, the new girl, is on a one-on-one date with Nick. She says she's really attracted to his lumberjack look, even though he doesn't look at all like a lumberjack. They kiss as the sun sets behind their heads, but we know from the previews that she will go home soon...

Observations: Nick has decided to knock it off with the poet demeanor to take on the beefcake persona. I think he may also be wearing a retainer as he sounds as if he has developed a lisp. ED and Chad are back. Chad's face has become even more over-grown. Omigod, Chad has a Morkie. Chaplin is a Morkie. But Chap is way cuter. Chad's Mork is white and runny-eyed. Remember Amanda and her two toddlers and her off the shoulder shirts (perhaps that's where JoJo got the idea)? She's back. First to arrive is mommy x 2, followed by Nick. This is his third time on a Bachelor type show. Is no one going to comment on the crazy sound of the birds overtaking the stilted dialogue? I forgot that Amanda talks in a baby voice. Jubilee is arrival number three and she has earlier told us that she is practicing not looking like a bitch when her face is resting. Fourth = Evan aka The Penis Guy (according to Jubilee). Amanda likes that he's a dad. Vinny yells and he's in. Then...

Watching show with my favorite gal, Liz Webster. Immediate plug for The Marriott in Thailand. JoJo is definitely falling in love with both of them. When she's with Jordan, she thinks of Robbie and when she's with Robbie, she thinks about the monkeys of Thailand. Her whole sweaty family has been flown to Thailand. Mom has had sixteen facial surgeries, including cheek and lip injections and possibly permanent eyeliner. JoJo greets Jordan wearing an off the shoulder mini dress--Liz describes it as a pirate shirt that has been partially been ripped off and a purple bra. Her mom is wearing the same. Liz says she appreciates the Jordan is kind of a dandy. I missed the rest of the date because I was taking this photo and emailing it to myself. Jordan brought hats and promised not to break JoJo's precious princess heart. Next is Robbie with his dipsy-do right hair style. He brings flowers. JoJo wears high-heeled wedges. Mom finds Robbie to have a gentleman demeanor. He ...

We start the show with ten minutes of commercials for the next show, Bachelor in Paradise, starring Chad. After that, I'm certain we will find out what went on behind the scenes, except that we already know. Chad has a great agent and has found a niche that he can ride through at least ten more tabloid magazines. As an aside, doesn't the model on the cover to your left look like Katie Holmes. We are reintroduced to a bunch of contestants we don't remember at all. Limp yells for ED and everybody seems to love James Taylor and Chase. The crowd goes wild. The crowd of 14 year old girls, I should clarify. Evan gets to say the first thing about how he couldn't speak when getting out of the limo to meet JoJo. "Alls I could say is 'God Bless America.'" Here's us looking back at what happened. The whole show is like that. The men like to use the phrase "bitch" to insult one another. Nick has been coached to speak up as much as possible. Wel...