But Call Me Betsy

Intentional? It's Joyce Carol Oates, so you must consider there may be some forethought. I have an on again/off again relationship with JCO. First of all, it's unacceptable that she teaches at Princeton, I am in Princeton often, and yet I have never seen her. I imagine that in person she is even frailer and more praying mantis like than one imagines. I feel like she would wear a brown overcoat and a plum colored hat, for some reason. I imagine that she might often cover up her hair because (I am also imagining this) she doesn't like how frizzy and unmanageable it is. I only think this because her characters often have frizzy hair, especially the ones you're meant to dislike somewhat. I think she has an arresting look, but it's the kind of attractiveness that maybe was never appreciated? Sometimes, I like her writing a lot, and sometimes, I feel like it's a parody of Southern Gothic writing, as she usually has sentences that read something like, "Daddy d...

I've been more social than usual lately (which means I interact with new-ish people like once a month instead of once every three months) and so have been recently answering the question about what I do in my job and in my life. I can answer the job question easily, but then I sometimes expand on that to make my life sound more interesting by adding that I also write fiction. And then the person asks me what I write about and I have no ready answer. I usually say, "Dysfunctional women who can't connect with others and always say the wrong things and reveal too much information to casual questions." Maybe what I need to do is come up with a different answer every time, like "I write about pig farming during the turn of the century in Afghanistan." Or "My stories revolve around transsexuals who are hiding their identities." Or  "I'm into tales about registered sex offenders who are really very nice people at heart." But overall, I f...

Chris wears a turtleneck to France, because, hey, that's what the French do, I guess. For her own part, Andi wears a super short skirt made out of a Hefty garbage bag. Someone is stoked to have one on one time with Andi--I guess it's the pro ball player? Here's a new thing where they force The Bachelorette to do a hair commercial and she illustrates how she will never be an actress. I missed some of the story because we were frosting cupcakes for Luke's class tomorrow. That's a first for me. Dan tried to hide the extra frosting from me, but guess what, I went ahead and dug it out of the garbage, because I have no pride. Tension at the house as Andrew called the black guy a black guy. I feel like I missed something  significant. He's saying how much it sucks to be seen as the token black guy, and to be judged not by who he is as a total person, but as a person of color. First time ever The Bachelorette has directly confronted any racial tension on the sh...

Buying this book is a direct consequence of taking a recommendation from People magazine, perhaps not the most exemplary literary mag. As I recall, the review mentioned that it was a compelling mystery, great summer reading, an adventurous tale, etc. I'm halfway through the book and, at around page 200, here's what's happened so far: the narrator, Mabel, a nerdy college student with a dysfunctional family, has been invited to the summer home of her very rich, bitchy, and moody roommate, Ev. She has been there for like three weeks, and there have been a few parties and really too many extended family members to keep track of. Per the request of one of the weird aunts, Mabel has begun to explore the attic of one of the homes in search of more information about a family secret. That's it. That probably could've been covered in chapter one (the book also has chapter titles. "The Apology," and "The Secret" are two that spring to mind). The writing i...

You will be missed (somewhat). Shiva is Dan's sister's dog--a mix of a mutt who was part Dalmatian, part Afghan, part fatty. Jodi and Stan have had her for a very long time, and she was the kind of dog who, as long as I knew her, seemed worried, pretty much constantly. Her main goal in life, as far as I could see, was to get to drink out of the toilet bowl. She also spent much of her time around the house with her nose to the floor, sucking up food droppings like a furry vacuum cleaner. Many times, she served as a pillow and playmate for Juliette, who I'm sure is very sad now. One of the hardest parts about losing a pet is after years of companionship is that you also lose that link to your past--the person you were when you first got the animal. And it reminds you of your own mortality, or at least reminds you that a significant part of your past is now gone. I've had two pet cats die--Gretel and Henri. Gretel was my connection to Florida State and college, so when...

It's only been like four episodes. I am sorry, but I don't think I want to watch an hour of recaps and re-runs of a show that already is based 40% on recaps and previews. And fake Southern accents. And little tiny doll teeth. We've seen it all already. This is the cheapest, worst trick I've ever seen on a show that I didn't think could go much lower. Okay, let me guess, it will be ten minutes of the replay of meeting the guys again (even the ones who have already been kicked off) and then it'll be the most embarrassing moments, like the guy who jumped into the pool, and then it will be all the kisses thus far. And then there will be some scenes of the guys stripping and taking their shirts off, and then the soccer or basketball game or whatever they played. The narrator is not even Chris Harrison, it's some other guy who sounds like is other job is the movie previews, like, "Coming this summer..." Here's how Andi looks on the night she meets ...

I am not sure if I mentioned that Dan got my a bicycle for my birthday in May. It's a sixteen speed Schwinn that he bought in Kopp's Bicycle Shop. We've taken it out a few times, because we have a long trail behind our house that leads all the way into Plainsboro. One of the first times we took it out, we were riding on the sidewalk and came up against a dad with his baby in a stroller. I was in the lead, and the other times this had happened on the ride, Dan went into the grass to avoid the people, so I did the same. Of course, I choose the section of grass that was actually a deep hole. The wheel stuck in the hole, and I flew headfirst over the handlebars and landed on my face in the spongy grass. No injuries, except that I felt stupid and also, I swallowed some grass. The next day, we went on another ride and I managed to not avoid a giant branch jutting over the sidewalk and so scrapped it with my arm, which caused a giant gash and a dark bruise that I showed to who...

I have found one thing about Plainsboro that trumps Princeton and that is the library books sales. Granted, the Plainsboro Li-berry only holds a books sale once a month versus P-town, which has it all the time. However, they carry a wide array of books on all subjects and in good condition and they are very inexpensive. The stack of books you see below the sock monkey cost $7. Eleven books in total, ranging from the silly (the Pretty Good Joke Book which I bought for our trip) to the "I know I should read this" category (Norman Mailer's The Executioner's Song)  to books that I bought for other people because I love them (Lahiri's Interpreter of Maladies ) to beach-y paperback thrillers ( Deception ) to an anime book for Luke (not pictured). So take that, Princeton. 12 books for $7.

Cody wears too many bracelets, and works out for 15 hours a day. The Pity Rose I missed the beginning and so do not understand why Andi is having dinner in a caboose, though I suspect that I wouldn't understand it even if I had watched it from the start.  The accountant is spilling his guts. He has some kind of secret--oh, his sister overdosed which had something to do with him not having a dad. I don't know if she died, but then the other brother overdosed, and then the third brother fell off a train, so this caboose is really stirring up bad memories. Andi again feigns empathy. I wonder if the brain dead brother became an organ donor?  "Crazy!" is Andi's comment. Is it manipulative to bring up your biggest tragedies when you barely know the person? This is fifth date material, if ever. "I yam who I yam because of these overdoses," he says, taking a long swig of wine. Andi blows her nose into a napkin, not because she's sad, but because of t...

That's the title of a type of a 48 Hours type show we watched the other night with our mouths agape. The premise of the show is that some guy (in 90% of the stories, the would-be murderer is male) attempts to end the life of some woman (his wife, girlfriend, lady he dated once from Shop-Co), but miraculously, she survives against all odds, hence "live to tell."  The episode we watched was particularly interesting to me, because it took place in Clearwater, Florida, and I grew up one town over, in Dunedin. The story was about this very cute blond nursing student who couldn't quite break things off with this huge bear of a ginger-colored man, even though he called her names, tried to strangle her at one point and threatened to kill her and her mom if she ever left him. But, you know, he had  rough childhood. She broke up with him, but one night, he called her crying and begged her to come out and just give him one last hug. She said okay, went out in her p.j.s and bedro...