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Farewell, Joseph W. M. or "Sadly Missed"

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Yesterday was Joe's last day and he has spent the three weeks since giving his notice locked in his office trying to finish a feature and tie up loose ends. I did manage to drag him out to the dollar store where he bought me a Diet Coke (50 cents). Later, we all went to Lucky Strikes for a fare thee well hurrah and I had the lowest score, mainly because I can't throw the ball without spinning it or thunking it directly into the gutter. I discovered that Joe is excellent at recognizing movie quotes in like one line, particularly those related to Top Gun . He also got ones from Bull Durham and The Princess Bride ("As you wish.") Did not get the one from Pretty Woman. Joe wore a bowling shirt and approached the lane with his quiet confidence. Alberta, who claims to have never been in a bowling alley in her life, beat out Joe by a few points to be the surprise winner. I had secretly hoped I would be a natural bowler, but I was not. The only real casualty of the day was ...
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For Jen

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Here's my email to my bestest friend in high school...We just recently got in touch and she wrote me back. Her responses are in caps (slightly edited to protect the not so innocent): Jen A Bee! Sorry for the delay in responding--I am have a crazy couple of weeks, though that's no real excuse. You were in my dream last night--I was at my home in Florida and you dropped off a package that had all these photos in it that showed what you'd been doing for the last 10 years. ((WAS MY NEW SLAM BOOK INCLUDED??)) How much more obvious could a dream be? You looked really cute--same Jen, curly hair and well put together outfit. ((SAME CURLY HAIR, YEP - NOW RED TO COVER-UP ALL THE GREY. NOT SO PUT TOGETHER ANYMORE - QUITE LAZY.)) I can't believe Haley is on the pill. Isn't she still like 7 years old? ((17 IN OCTOBER! SHE'S COMING THIS SUMMER WITH HER BOYFRIEND! WHY DIDN'T OUR PARENTS LET US SMOKE POT AND SHAG OUR BOYFRIENDS IN THIER HOUSE? (WITH THEM KNOWING?)JUST KIDDI...
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Why I'm Friends with an Irish Person

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He sent me this email in response to me telling him that I"m holding his coffee mug hostage: If you keep the cup there will be all sorts of consequences. eg. i won't getcoffee- will fall asleep behind the wheel, there will be a pile up. a doggie onthe way to the vets to have babby doggies will die. Then, he forwared a link to this precious baby head face bunny wunny .
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