Friday, April 1, 2016

The brain on gym

I like a routine at the gym, and I like limitations on time. I go between three or four times a week and do either 40 or 45 minute of cardio and sometimes a few sit ups and weights. But most of the time that I'm there, I'm dying for it to be over and having the same thoughts. It's not like other solitary activities--like if I'm walking or in the shower, my brain works on solving problems or maybe I think about a story or a to-do list. At the gym, maybe because my body is fully occupied, my brain can't organize itself around a set of coherent or useful thoughts. Here's basically what circulates through my brain:

1. Don't look at how much time is left. Don't look at how much time is left. Keep going, don't worry how much time is left. Oh, god, that's all I've done so far?


2. Who the hell keeps dropping the weights? He should be banned from the gym. I am going to go over there after I get off this machine and tell that guy that he's lifting too much. If he has to release them from his grip at the very last second, it's too much. Then, he'll probably thank me for letting him know or else he might punch me in the face. 

3. I hate Pandora. How many songs have I skipped already? Haven't I said thumbs down to Ben Lee, like, 50 times? Okay, I like Jagged Little Pill, but I don't want to hear it every day. three times a year would be plenty. Why do I keep getting the advertisement for Vanity Fair napkins? What could I have possibly searched for on the web that makes this ad seem geared for me?


4. I really shouldn't watch Dateline. It makes me doubt humanity. No way are they going to find this girl alive, though the family still has hope. Also, it's weird that TLC airs both Dateline investigation shows and Say Yes to the Dress. Both shows are about marriages, essentially, because the murdered woman on Dateline is usually killed by her husband and they often show footage from the dead woman's wedding reception to illustrate happier times. Maybe they should combine the shows. Say Yes to the Dress and Get a DNA Test. How could I encapsulate this idea into a clever tweet?


5. How much longer? Should I go up a level? Please, no, God, don't make me go up a level. If I go up a level, that means I only have to do 30 minutes. And, if I drink all of this water, I'll have to pee every ten minutes for the rest of the day, but water is good for me, so I should drink the water, but I have to make sure to ration it out so I don't drink all of the water before I finish the work out. How many more minutes?


That's it. Over and over and over and over and over until it ends. It does help if you go with friends. 




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