Monday, August 4, 2014
Clare decides that she won't go on the date with Graham because AshLee is upset. AshLee says that she won't let Clare take someone else and she won't take the date herself and then when Graham wants to talk to her, she pretends like she can't hear him just like I did in seventh grade with Steve Crossett when he didn't sit next to me in youth choir. I like Clare again. This is a rocky road that I'm on with Clare. She chooses Robert to go to the ruins with her. Robert gets bitten by red ants and is forced to take his shirt off. Clare says, "I'm literally speechless." I refuse to point out that if she were literally speechless, she wouldn't even be able to tell us that. She changes into a bikini that might have a thong bottom and and they are forced to frolic in the ocean.
The women keep saying how weird it is that have never asked a guy out on a date. Sara asks Marcus if he would like to go. Lacy is upset because both the guys she likes went on dates with other girls. Sara has to strip down to her one piece bathing suit. She has a slightly boyish figure. He asks her if she can swim and she says, Kind of. They jump in together. Will he touch her at all? Well, she goes ahead and asks him for a kiss and he obliges. When Robert returns from his date with Clare, Lacy tells him that she's upset because both of the guys she likes got dates. I mean, good for her that she told him that she likes two guys but bad for her for crying a little. That's three women crying to none of the guys.
A super hot surprise girl shows up to make it even more unbalanced--eight women to six dudes! She is also white, big breasted and has two arms.
AshLee apologizes to Graham for acting like a third grader and all the ladies just thinks he's the nicest guy ever. He says he thinks communication is important and he gives her a hug while she bats her false eyelashes and talks in a baby voice.
Marcus says that he likes Sara okay, but he really wants to make out with Lacy. Lacy has to do eenie-meanie to decide who to go out with. She says that she's "80-40." Third dumb remark from a woman. Marcus feels crappy about not getting picked, so he might give his rose to Sara because he likes her okay. Lacy piles her hair on her head and Marcus again stares out into the surf. Robert says that he loves romance and he loves feeling those feelings for the girl that he's going to marry. Dylan gives Marcus some bad advice about not following his instincts and playing hard to get. Marcus goes to bed and tosses and turns on an itchy Indian blanket.
First Ever Paradise Rose Ceremony
All the women are insecure because it's the last cocktail party before the first final rose ceremony and two girls are on the chopping block. Chris reminds everyone of the rules and lets the women know that two of them will be put back on a boat to America tonight. But like, what if one guy picks the girl that the seven other people need want to date? Clare says she doesn't want to leave "Clare-a-dise." Don't like her again.
Sara goes, "It's really hard when their are only six guys and three of them are wife-d up tonight." She asks Marcus what he wants to do, and he lies to her and says that he thinks she deserves a rose because she only has one arm. That's pretty much what the subtext was. Please discuss this trope of pitying but not seeing value in the woman with one full arm among your friends and family now.
Lacy is going for it with Robert while at the same time giving Marcus a come hither look. Marcus doesn't want to give a rose to Sara because he can't imagine being with her and Marquel advises him to go ahead and not give the rose to a person who only has one hand to hold. Why not have a guy with a noticeable physical difference and I don't mean skin color?
Ding, ding, ding. Go ahead, guys.
Marquel starts to give out a rose and the other Michelle interrupts the show and volunteers to leave the country because she thinks they're all duds and plus she's engaged to someone else. Okay, now only one will go home and it will probably be Sara or Danielle.
Marquel picks Michelle, the late comer.
Graham is forced to pick AshLee in fear for his life. Lightning strikes. He chooses her.
Dylan, who hasn't talked to anyone, picks Elise who "literally would've said I love you to him already except it's too soon."
Marcus will pick Lacy, leaving Robert to have to pick Clare.
Robert is shocked that Marcus picked her even though she point blank told him she likes two guys. CLARE. Of course.
Ben will pick Danielle and not Sara and that will make him look like a shallow jerk. "This sucks," he says, realizing his predicament All right, he picks Sara instead, even though she will go home next time, probably.