And it begins again, different yet the same

I missed the season premiere of this first ever season of The Bachelorette featuring an African American person as the main contestant. I have yet to see the mixture of men...Looks like half white, half black, a couple of Asian Americans, and all here for the right reasons. Chris Harrison points out that Rachel is both smart and beautiful, "all of the attributes you could want" in a wife. All two attributes.

The group date card comes out and tons of dudes are going. Rachel meets the guys while grilling at a BBQ. Hmm...

Jonathan's job is "tickle monster" aka unemployed actor. They're playing football, and she "hut, hut, hikes" while wearing a dress. Everyone hates Lucas, and Blake, the aspiring drummer, says that Lucas is garbage and is only there to be on TV. Rachel has a lovely gap in her front teeth and I am so proud of her for not getting it fixed. Ashton Kutchner and some other lady are there. Ashton Kutchner is super hot.

It occurs to me that it's going to be really hard to find vintage photos to accompany my posts because there are not that many pics that don't reinforce some kind of negative stereotype.

The men have to go through an obstacle course where they change diapers, unclog a drain, and do something else. The men are totally floored by the blurred out baby poop. Next, they have to put on a Baby Bjorn. Next, vacuuming while carrying the baby. They are failing. Unclogging the drain while drowning and searching for a ring. Finally, setting the table and going to get flowers. Lucas spikes the baby as the finale. He wins.

Rachel likes that Lucas continues to surprise her. Even after he just read her a terrible poem. She feels that the conversations with the men are boring. She neglects to mention that one of the men is sweating like he just came out of a sauna and threw on a maroon button up. One-on-one goes to a super model. Aspiring drummer tells Rachel that Lucas is on the show to promote his product, Woo-Hoo, which may be a form of hair gel or possibly male make-up. Blake confesses to Lucas that she told Rachel that Lucas is only here to promote his lip gloss and his side job as a double for Howdy Dowdy. Lucas, slightly slurring his words, tells Blake that he is dismissed.

Will race be discussed on this show at all? Will one of the white men take Rachel home to meet his parents, only to reveal that they are the most polite kind of racists? Or will Rachel decide that all the white guys are lame, and send them home, because that's what always happens to the black characters on the show?

It seems that Rachel has a connection with Dean, partially because he has amazing dimples and blue eyes and is slightly silly. She likes that he came out and the first night and said, "When you go black, you never go back." I guess that's risky. She said that he stole her line.

Where are they? I see lava lamps and tons of candy in a 1950s setting. The wrestler, Kenny, says he's used to white guys acting crazy. He tells Rachel that he has a ten year old daughter named Mackenzie who teaches him everything he needs to know. He's thirty-five and is just looking for something real. He seems cute, even though he refers to himself in the third person.

Group date rose goes to Dean, who is so freakin' handsome. Howdy Doody is not happy about this and Kenny said he's going to break Dean's legs later. In a kidding way. Come on, Dean, kiss her...He does, and does that things where he puts his hand on her throat. She covers him in red lipstick. The producers quickly wipe it off.

One on one with this boring hot guy named Pete. She brings her adorable dog on the date. His name is Copper and he has one broken leg. Pete pretends to like the dog while surreptitiously wiping his hands on his khakis when she's not looking.

Small break for life things and so I missed whatever drama may have unfolded with that much testosterone in one small area.

Second group date again does not defy stereotypes by having them play basketball with none other than...Kareem Abdul Jabar. This guy is like seven feet tall. He is three feet taller than most of the men. He's also gotten older. He is a giant man and he finds Rachel to be a quite down to earth person. He says that basketball is a good way to see a man's character--do they have good team work, for example, and do they help each other out. Remember when he was in the movie Airplane? He seems like a genuinely nice man. Kareem lets them know that they will be playing a game in front of a packed house while wearing LA Lakers jerseys (I think?). The game begins and it's filled with showboat players, and cheering from an audience made up of high schoolers. Nobody can make a basket. Rachel is looking for character and integrity. She is a cheerleader and a member of the band. "Teamwork makes the dream work," says somebody clichedly. This is the lowest scoring basketball game in history. She is impressed with DeMario because he knows how to slam dunk. I'm trying to remember...In the history of the show, have the contestants ever been forced to play any sport for an audience? If they do a rap contest at some point, the producers have failed badly.

We learn that DeMario (the Mario) has a white girlfriend. He's pumped to have the extra time. Little does he know..He sees the girlfriend  says, "Oh...Who's this?" DeMario scrambles to explain. He plays the ex (?) as someone who is psycho. She doesn't really make a good case for herself by dropping the f-bomb ever other word. She shows Rachel the texts he sent and Rachel tells him to "get the fuck out." He says, "Sorry, Rachel" and the camera woman runs after him. DeMario keeps saying how crazy it is as he gets into a white limo. She does not want to talk about it and goes into the women's restroom to blow off some steam. She then goes back to tell the men in the locker room that they need to not try to play her and to tell her right now if they have girlfriends at home. No one fesses up.

I like the black guy with the glasses, Diggy. I don't care if they're not even prescription. He's nerdy cute and soft spoken. The cheating incident has helped her to have better conversations with the men. Or rather, super corny conversations with the men who are reading her moving lines from fortune cookies and sing old Russian folks songs. And why can't the producers turn down the lights so that everyone isn't sweating like pics the whole time.

It would be so so great if she sent all the white guys home one by one. She gives the date rose to Josiah, I don't know why. He's a prosecuting attorney, but I don't like his facial hair. She gives hugs goodbye to all of the men. I like her.

Final rose ceremony and the men must all pack in case they get sent home. P.S. Nobody is on this show for the right reasons. She arrives wearing a fancy long black dress with a golden belt. She explains that she will be honest with them, when Demario left, she reconsidered her options, and decided to stay on the show. Bryan, the chiropractor, gives her a back rub, even though that's not what chiropractors do though, right? Demario shows up because he wants to talk to her again and because the show really isn't that interesting at its core. Rachel would like to know what he could possibly say to her right now.

This is her dog, Copper. Stayed tuned to see if his cast comes off for all of the right reasons.


Comments

Popular Posts