The Bachelorette, Season VIXC

The newest Bachelorette started last night, and, you guessed it, the bachelorette is America's sweetheart, Desiree Holmes. I don't really know what her last name is, but she reminds me of Katie Holmes, post-Dawson's Creek, and pre-Tom Cruise brainwashing. When I say that she's America's sweetheart, I mean that she's the product chosen by NBC to be America's sweetheart; we don't really know her that well; she could be a total diva for all we know, but who cares, she lights up a room (when in candlelight) and she already has the script down ("here for the right reasons...Yes, I believe my husband is in this room...Will you accept this rose? Bounce is the quicker picker upper"). 

As usual, I only caught the last 45 minutes of the show, and so missed the hour of dudes getting out of the limos in evening gowns, trying to dazzle her, but that's okay. All of the guys look exactly alike and there are only 5 different names among them: Nick, Derrick, Zack, Mike,, and Brody. Mostly, they vie for her attention by talking about their drunk mom's, or their experiences in Iraq, or by attempting to wrestle her into the fantasy suite (that guy got sent home, you know why? Because that's not how Desiree likes to be treated, as Chris Harrison explains to everyone. She totally puts her foot down at date rape, you guys. Make a note of it).  The most interesting thing about the show when it's a bunch of guys and one woman is that they guys don't know how to act and they all end up reverting to Cro-Magnon behavior to get her attention--they rip of their shirts, they jump into the pool, they punch each other in the gut, they show off how great they are at bouncing a soccer ball off their noses like seals. It's so weird. Maybe this time at the end, they will have changed how it goes--brought it up to date, because usually, even though she chooses who she wants to be with, the guy is the one who must propose. Just let the woman propose now, okay? No one will care.

Anyway, the main point is that she sent the ER doctor home and I liked his glasses. She also sent the magician packing, and a couple of other guys with short dark hair--all of whom were periodontists. I don't know if I will be able to recap each week but I'll try.