But Call Me Betsy

Oh, God, if you ever want an exercise in hilarity or, I don't know, sadness or self-reflection, try reading your old journals if you have any. I've been keeping some sort of diary since I was ten and paged through one today from when I was twelve going on thirteen. You wouldn't believe the things I wrote--well, yes, you would--they are so...Twelve year old-ish, but at the same time, they were part of who I would become or who I am. Lots of lists of things; lists of what music I liked, of movies I'd seen over the summer, of boys I had crushes on and there's also this fear of sounding too corny while at the same time sounding corny. A sarcastic self-emerging at the age of 12. And boys. It's always and forever about boys. I had a three year crush on a kid in my church choir, Steve Crossett. He was a year older than me and had red hair and freckles and was in all of the honors classes which I thought was so cool. He wore gray corduroys and Izod shirts (collar unpop...

That's what I'm doing right now. Startling the animals in my house because I have decided to become a rock star and have been practicing my singing/dance routine in the living room. It's best to do this in your socks if you have faux wooden floor such as I do because it allows you to slide around much easier and it increases your repertoire of dance moves by at least 12%. Also, best to wear a tank top and blue jeans. Or a leotard if you're planning a lot of elaborate jumps. I guess I'm being kind of loud and probably not quite on-key (can't tell with my i-pod on) because my cats have their ears back like they do when they hear fighting outside or a sudden whistle or the lyrics of "It's the End of the World as We Know It" belted out with the necessary jumping up and down to accompany that particular piece. How about a less energetic one; how do you feel about The Postal Service's "Such Great Heights?" Nope, they don't much care for...

I've been remiss the last two weeks with a report on The Bachelor, and I do solemnly apologize, to Julie and possibly Jess and maybe Hasana, the only people (besides me) who might enjoy these posts. That said, we are down to the final three gals...Shoshanna, Amanda, and that other girl. We know that he's going to end up with Amanda, so why must we go through with this charade? According to Julie, last week was an awesome freak show with the home visit, including Shoshanna's mom who has so much plastic surgery that she's unrecognizable as a human being. Lorenzo Llama told Matt that his daughter is really on the show for the TV coverage. On her date, Amanda fooled Matt by hiring actors to play her parents, something I'm sure that she didn't think of on her own; I'm sure that NBC or CBS or whatever stations sponsors this show came up with to be clever. Noelle was let go, but we don't really care, though we will miss her crater-like dimples. Tonight, he gets...

I still don't like Mondays, because they remind me of that feeling of facing a week of things you're supposed to do, i.e. the beginning of the school or work week and how far away the days are where you get to pick what you want to do. I suppose now would be the perfect time to attempt to change my perception by shaping Monday into anything I want it to be. Monday is cupcake day! Monday is library day! Monday is likely "buy one/get one free" at least one Philadelphia thrift store. I could make Monday the day where I do something indulgent for myself like having my knees waxed (?). But it would be a fight to shake that feeling of drudgery that accompanies the start of the week. I dreamt the other night that I was scheduled to do a one hour stand-up routine at this used bookstore in State College. I was with two other comedians and I had to go first. I realized five minutes before the show began that I didn't have any material. I was like, Oh, shit, I guess I can wi...

I know they have to hold the member drive and raise money for "Car Talk," etc., but I am still not even a little bit motivated to send a pledge to NPR. I keep waiting for even the slight tingling of the tipping point where I'll start to feel a little convinced, like, "Wait, what kind of tote bag are they giving away? A subscription to which magazine?" So far, I haven't even felt the littlest bit like calling in and hearing my gift make a pling noise on the other end. Maybe if I were more flush. Play writing class today and I have nothing to bring in and I decided I don't care about that either. In other news, my bike has finally made it out of the basement to sit next to the radiator for the next couple of months. No, I am going to try to actually ride it soon...Still need to take it to the bike shop and get the tires filled and find the key for the lock and buy a helmet and so I'm certain that by August, I will have ridden at least up the block a...

I don't know what's happening or why my posts have all suddenly huddled together on April 19, but the last post is from today. Was there some kind of weeklights savings time that no one told me about? Just wanted to clarify.