What Will You Be for Halloween?

I will be a staffer for Homecoming Weekend! I already know what I'm wearing--a University-affiliated shirt and a skirt. And a smile! Maybe I'll add a little blood or a draw some scars on my face to make it scary. It's kind of a relief not to worry about a costume. I always have the problem of wanting to combine cuteness with cleverness and just a little gruesome. Like, one year I was the tooth fairy and had a necklace made of fake teeth and carried around some pliers. And another year, I was a mermaid caught in a net. What else? No one's costume will be better than my long distance friend, Jodie. She does the best costumes ever. One year, she was Gus, the Rotarian--a fat bald man with an ill-fitting suit and a mustache. Another year, she was Joan of Arc at the stake. You know what Halloween costumes SUCK? The following: dressing as a baby or a little kid, dressing as a cat or a dog (even though I kind of want to be a cat every single year), dressing as anything that you obviously just pulled out of your closet, like someone from the 50s or a hippie. You have to put some thought and effort into it, people.

No fair if you're Heidi Klum either and can pay someone to come up with your costume, design, and make it. Here she is in four amazing costumes that I am quite certain she had nothing do with in terms of the concept or execution: