Listen to me. I have a lot of important things to say.

(Picture by broadywaybound7)

Have been spending too much time on other people's blogs lately and clicking on their links which bring me to other links and on and on until I'm overwhelmed by the waves of "me, me, me" in them and so what do I do? Decide to begin my own new blog, as though I have anything of interest to add. One category springs to mind.

Top 5 Blog Types to Hate:

1. Highly specialized, uninteresting topics only relevant to the reader and her/his family, like this one I just found that's about a woman's baby...The baby isn't even born yet, but she's tracking its growth from the date of inception through age 2. The blog is called "From Sperm to Eternity." (Not really. I wish). On the other hand, I don't mind so much when they're at least funny, like the one about hating horses.

2. Blogs about a person's day-to-day boring shit like those written by undergrads or stay-at-home's. "Today, I had a chemistry test. Yuck! It was so hard! Tomorrow, I have a test in English. I haven't even studied yet!! We ate dinner in the dorm tonight and it was meatloaf again! :[..." Ad nauseum. Nobody wants to read about your boring life and less you happen to be a D-list celebrity.

3. Badly written "story" blogs where people share their fiction or even their nonfiction using tons

of adverbs. "I walked stiffly into the room and there was Damien. He winked at me slyily. I looked quickly at the floor, and then glanced furtively at the clock on the wall: twelve midnight-ly was rapidly approaching."

4. Ones with lots of moving images like scrolling lines of sophmoric adages and sparkles that shoot across the screen when you move your mouse or animated gifs of Barney spanking himself. Ditto any with accompanying music that blares to life seconds after you enter the site.

5. Blogs comprised solely of links, especially when half of them are not explained but rather alluded to so you have to click on the selected text to find out what they're exclaiming about. And it's usually super boring. Like: It's finally happened!

Okay, yes, blogs are self-indulgent. Nobody cares what you think about Katrina or the Bush Administration or where you were when Janet Jackson's Nipple Was Revealed. They're self-conscious and only sometimes funny and unnecessary. And yet I still have one. I tell myself it's so I'll write consistently, but who knows. Let's see if I write, knowing none of my friends are aware of the new blog and so I can't even use the excuse that I'm writing to keep those I don't speak to regularly up-dated on my fabulous, amazing, unbelievable life.